


The Meaning of Life

by SuperNebula (FanWorks)



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Blood Loss, Boys Kissing, Existential Angst, Existential Crisis, Falling In Love, Fluff, Homelessness, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Past Abuse, Philosophy, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Unrequited Love, Zoro is a philosopher, homophobic parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-17 10:19:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9319382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanWorks/pseuds/SuperNebula
Summary: Zoro found himself cold and alone. He trembled in the wind like a thin piece of paper floats to the ground. His life was futile. The lights of the harbour below were mere coloured dots in the sea of darkness. Cars fled by raucously; no one noticed. Horns tooted in the distance; no one noticed. Stars faded in the sky; no one noticed.No one but a single blond man in a tailor made blue suit.





	1. How am I not Myself?

It was freezing. The icy breeze of the sea floated over the strange man with green Hair. He trembled in the wind like a piece of paper floats to the ground as his three gold earrings swayed in the frosty air. He was so high. The lights of the harbour below were mere coloured dots in the sea of darkness. Cars fled by raucously; no one noticed. Horns tooted in the distance; no one noticed. Stars faded in the sky; no one noticed.

Blood dripped in streams down Zoro’s sliced chest. But the pain in his heart was worse. Unbearable. Yet he did not cry. For he felt nothing. Nothing for the family he would leave behind. Nothing for the world that forgot his existence. And nothing for the selfish, destructive people that littered this tiny world. Zoro thought it was ironic that it would be life that inevitably caused death- their death- and the destruction of the planet.

 It was so very, very cold. As the earth grew hotter ever second, the people grew colder. And Zoro could feel it. The numbing bar he was sitting on was the only thing keeping his mind in reality. His hands gripped tightly to this bar; knuckles white, lips blue.

The endless world that once excited him, now felt lost to him. The questions he loved to ponder; he now felt nothing for. Nothing but pain. 

_‘What is the meaning of life? Is it simply death? How can death have meaning? Is what I am feeling real? Are emotions irrational? Why do people exist? Why do I exist? Am I necessary?’_

The answer to the last question was no. If 151,600 people die each day, his life, and ultimately his death, would mean nothing. In the beginning, people are just numbers, an extra 1 added to the grand total; and in the end, they are removed, added to the total of the dead.

The bridge was so high. And Zoro’s hands were getting sore. A simple gust of the wind could make him fall the 25 stories into the murky river below. It would mean death. And he felt nothing.

His heavy legs dangled over the edge of the thick iron railing he was sitting on. Blood still spilt slowly from his wound. But as he sat, and decided to die; he felt neither animosity, nor despair. Only pity, for the world that would destroy itself with its own greed.

“Hey! What are you doing? Do you want to die!?” A harsh, brisk voice called from behind his back. He did not turn, yet neither did he let go.

“Do I want to die? Or do I want to stop living?” Zoro asked the stranger in return.

“What?”

“In the moment people decide to give up, do they think: I want to die, or: I don’t want to live?”

“It means the same thing.”

“Perhaps. Or maybe when someone wants to die they wish to escape all reality; life, death, they want no perception of it.  But if they don’t want to live, maybe they only mean to escape the reality that we have created. Our ‘life’. The responsibilities and problems that humanity has made. But not their entire perception of the fabric of reality. They merely wish to forfeit their role in society and not their existence.” He paused as his mind processed this information. “Can people even wish to die?”

“Yeah, they can. People kill themselves all the time. Isn’t that what you’re up here for?” The figure’s voice was muffled, like he had put something in his mouth, but Zoro still did not turn to look at the man speaking to him. He was afraid that if he turned there would be only darkness behind him. And this entire conversation would have been a mere figment of his imagination.

“Yes, people kill themselves. But do they really wish to die? Do they feel relief that their life has ended? Or merely more sorrow that they could live no longer. Does the underlying survival instinct of humanity ever fade? Can we really wish to die when our genetics, and our subconscious tell us otherwise?” Zoro heard the man make an irritated noise with his throat.

“By that reasoning you’re saying that people can’t be gay ‘cause their genetics tell them not to.” Zoro sensed the mood in the man turn hostile. He assumed that the stranger was gay (because he was the one to change the topic to homosexuality and then grow aggravated)- or at least extremely sympathetic with the LGBTQIA rights struggle. In Australia, it is still illegal for people of the same gender to get married. Which often leads to anger in the Australian LGBT community. Zoro took a breath in and exhaled slowly, and noisily.

“Perhaps. It makes no sense. Why are people attracted to genders that they cannot reproduce with? is it in their DNA? How can homosexuality be in DNA? Wouldn’t that mean that a segment of their DNA goes against the survival instinct rooted in the rest of their DNA?” Zoro heard the man fidget. And half scowl- half growl at him.

“No. Their survival instinct is still there. They still want to live!” The man argued, antagonistically. Zoro didn’t understand. Homosexuals cannot reproduce – therefore they cannot pass on their DNA, which is an instinct of all living organisms.

“But they do not want to reproduce?” Zoro asked genuinely confused.

“Yes, they do. That’s why they adopt.”

“But if homosexuality is genetic, how is it passed on?”

“It isn’t. You’re born with it.” Zoro heard the man snarl at him through gritted teeth.

“So, you’re saying that homosexuality is a genetic mutation?” Zoro asked indifferently.

“A What now?! No! People love other people of the same gender and nobody knows why! And it doesn’t matter. If they love each other, they can do whatever they want.” Zoro heard him throw something to the ground and stomp on it, twisting his shoe on the concrete to squash it completely.

“Does love exist? Is love different from passion or sexual desire?” Zoro didn’t really know what he was saying anymore; they were legitimate questions that he wanted to know the answer of, but mostly, he just wanted to talk to someone, anyone before he left this world.

“What the fuck are you on about?!! Of course, love exists!” The man behind him was growing angrier by the second. He had come to help the man sitting on the edge of a 25 story bridge but now Zoro was afraid that he would leave. He didn’t want him to go. Deep down, Zoro really didn’t want to die; but he felt that there was really no other choice.

“Then describe it. What is love?”

“Well…” The man couldn’t think of what to say. How do you describe love? “Love is something that connot be described. It’s different for everyone.” He exhaled exasperated. “But if you could describe love, it would only be that; love is like a roller-coaster.  You get on and you think, this is going to be awesome! And then you’re looping around and whizzing through the air and there’s so much adrenaline pumping through your veins that you don’t know much of anything. Then there are these drops that you don’t see coming and your stomach sinks and you’re back in the air again flipping and spinning.

But eventually you feel sick, and you just want to get off but you can’t coz you’re on it now. There’s no getting off this rollercoaster till you reach the end. And you’re back up in the air screaming because you aren’t really thinking about anything anymore, you’re just sitting in the seat safe in your harness. You let go of the handles because you’re alive and you just want to feel the tossing and turning and the adrenaline, and you aren’t scared anymore because you’ve come this far. So you just trust completely in the rollercoaster, because it’s safe; I mean it was built by hundreds of engineers and there are so many structural supports, right? And eventually you’re just living in the moment ‘cause the absolute terror of plummeting to your death feels so damn good, but suddenly everything comes to a crashing halt and you come lurching right back to where you started from.

And you’re asking the attendant, wait a second, I got on to go somewhere, and he’s telling you that it never gets you anywhere and you’re looking at the looping, winding, flipping circle and you’re wondering why you ever got on in the first place if it goes nowhere. Then you’re remembering that you didn’t really care, you just wanted to live through the thrilling, terrifying summit. And in the end you’re walking away from that rollercoaster sick in your stomach wondering why the hell you tried, if it only ever leaves you sick, but you always get back on coz you’re remembering echoes of the stomach turning dips from before. And so you’re back on and you ride that rollercoaster but it only gets you back where you started and feeling sick.

And sometimes, you get on and you’re thinking this is great, this is really gonna work this time, but then it only gets half way before the ride starts to shake and all the bolts come loose and you’re flying off, plummeting to your death. And it hurts. It fucking hurts. It feels like you broke every damn bone in your body in that fall, and for months you can’t move coz every breath, every gush of air reminds you of that rollercoaster, and it feels great for a second but then you remember how your heart broke and you come crashing back down to the ground, again and again.”

He paused, pulled something out of his pocket, made a clicking noise and inhaled deeply. Warm smoke filled the air around Zoro. 

“And eventually, you get back on that fucking rollercoaster, even though it betrayed you all those times before. Because one day, one day, you’ll find someone to ride that rollercoaster with you and it’ll be so much better than before. Higher, faster, stronger, more exhilarating and you’ll never want to get off, and they’ll never want to get off so you just keep spinning and flipping and looping that rollercoaster forever. That is love.”

Neither Zoro nor the strange man behind him knew what to say next. It was so perfect. The man’s description of love sounded exactly like what Zoro thought of life. Zoro finally realised that it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. His life, his death, his existence didn’t matter. But that was okay. Because nobody mattered really, the entire 7 billion people on the planet were mere specks in comparison to the expanse of the universe. But Zoro didn’t have to worry about that. It wasn’t his job to care about the universe or the meaning of life. It was his job to live. To live the way that he wanted to.

“There aren’t any answers are there?” He asked the mysterious man.

“To what?”

“To life.”

“You religious?”

“No.”

“Then no. We are all living, breathing organisms that will one day die. And jumping off a bridge right now will only reinforce that.” Zoro sighed.

“I’ll never know the meaning of life will I?” The man nearly choked on the air he was breathing as soon as the words left Zoro’s mouth.

“Haha! What? The meaning of life is whatever the heck you want it to be.”

“The meaning of life can therefore be death. An inescapable paradox.”

“Sure.” He scoffed. “Or it could just be finding a stable job, marrying a nice girl, owning a house together, having two kids and a white picket fence like everyone else.” That idea seemed boring to Zoro. He wanted something more. Something that he couldn’t yet understand.

“Who are you anyway?”

“I’m a philosopher.”

“of course you are.” The man responded sarcastically. “And you’re having an existential crisis?” Zoro had never really thought about it.

“I guess so.”

“Ha! That seems a little ironic don’t you think!” The irony escaped Zoro, he was taught to ask the difficult questions about life; it would be no surprise that it would eventually lead to his death. “Anyway, want to go get a drink?”

“A drink? Why?”

“Look, I know you’re a philosopher but you don’t have to ask why after _everything_.”

“I know. But why are you asking me? I don’t have any money.”

“Well I can’t exactly leave you sitting on the edge of a bridge, can I? Come on I’ll pay.” The man walked over to him and place a hand on his shoulder to help him down. As Zoro turned he saw the man in the dim streetlighting of the bridge. He was a blond, with hair covering half his face and one of his eyes. He wore a nice blue suit with matching shoes and a patterned tie. He was dressed very fancy; Zoro wondered what a man like this was doing walking along the story bridge this late at night. The blond conspicuously noticed the slash to the green haired man’s chest. “Do you need to go to a hospital?”

“No.” Was the abrupt answer he was given in return.

“Fair enough.” The blond began walking and Zoro followed along beside him. Neither one of them said a word for quite some time. Zoro visibly shook in the icy air, and the blond must have heard his teeth chatter because he took off his navy blue suit coat and wrapped it over Zoro’s shoulders. It was a refreshing break from the empty chill.

“Thanks, but you know, it might get blood on it.”

“It’s fine I have more of them.” Zoro wrapped the coat around him. It smelt like smoke and a hint of something that Zoro could only describe as a fishy scent. “So, what’s your name anyway?”

“Zoro. What’s your name?”

“Sanji. And I’m a chef, by the way.” Silence. It was a fair enough assumption that neither one of them was a very social person.

“Your definition of love contained twice as much heartbreak as it did affection. Can I therefore assume that you have had bitter experiences with relationships?” Sanji choked on the cancer stick in his mouth. Zoro wondered why people smoked if they knew the effect would be death. Was the addictive high really worth that much pain?

“That mouth of yours is gonna get you killed one day.” The slender man mocked.

“It almost did.” Sanji discreetly glanced at the bleeding gash to Zoro’s chest, but he said nothing.

“So where do you live?”

“Nowhere.”

“What? So you’re homeless?” Sanji stopped walking and turned to face the stranger beside him.

“Apparently.” Zoro stopped alongside him.

“What do you mean _apparently_?” Sanji grew irritated at the vagueness of the man and tapped his foot a few times on the concrete pathway. Cars rushed by; no one noticed.

“Well I don’t have anywhere to go. So, that makes me homeless. Doesn’t it?” They continued walking.

“Do you have any family?” Zoro didn’t answer. Sanji assumed the answer was yes. Since he was avoiding the question. He sighed slowly.

“Look, I’m not sure what happened between you and your family, but I suggest you suck it up and go back to them. It’s better than living starving on the streets.” Zoro stopped walking.

“I cannot go back there.” Sanji stopped and looked at the muscular man’s face. His dark eyes pleaded to him. Zoro was looking Sanji directly in the eyes, and Sanji could tell he was in pain. Not physical pain. But he could tell that wherever Zoro’s family was, he could _not_ go back.

“Fine, fine. Do you have a job?” They continued to walk slowly to the bar. Sanji rubbed his fingers over his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He had to help this guy somehow.

“No.”

“I thought you said you were a philoso-“

“I study at university.”

“How do you afford that?”

“I have a scholarship.”

“Let me get this straight… You’re studying at university-for free, have no job, no income, no money and no home?”

“Yeah.”

“Well I think all you need to do is get a job and rent out a place. Seems like an easy fix.”

“And where am I going to find a job? And a place that’s willing to let me stay for free? At this time of night.”

“You know, the restaurant I’m working at needs a new dish mai--”

“I accept. When do I start?”

“Well, hold on a second, you didn’t let me finish. I was going to add – and as for places to stay for free… Well, I suppose you can stay with me for a while… Just until you get enough money to find your own place – and you’ll have to pay me back once you save enough money!” Zoro felt himself smile for the first time in a long time.

“Thank you. I’ll work extra hard and you won’t regret a thing!” He stopped, grabbed Sanji’s hand and shook it enthusiastically. _Geeze who the hell is this guy?_ Sanji thought. He was kinda cute; in a high-school-crush sort of way. His face looked so innocent. But he had the body of a fighter and the scars to prove it. Sanji didn’t know what to think. But it was too late. He’d already invited him to stay with him. There was something about that face that Sanji just couldn’t refuse.

“Alright. Come on.” They had arrived at the bar. Pushing through the large cedar doors Zoro felt like he had stepped back in time. The Gresham was a cosy, brown olden style whiskey saloon with a mahogany bar. Zoro stared at the antique Victorian fireplace as Sanji approached the bar and ordered a drink. “What do you want?”

“Oh, um…” Zoro didn’t like drinking alcohol much, and when he did, he only really drank Sake. Which they probably didn’t have; not many places did. “Just water please.”

“Oh come on. I’m paying.”

“Well I guess I’ll just have… What you’re having?” Sanji nodded and ordered another drink from the bartender. And then the two of them were silent for what felt like the 10th time that night. Sanji just didn’t know what to say to someone who was planning to kill themselves.

“So, do you like sports?”

“No not really.”

“Music?”

“A bit. But mainly classical or instrumental. I’m not a big fan of pop.”

“So what the heck do you do for fun?”

“I contemplate the irrationality of emotions, the meaning of life, whether ignorance is better than truth, if free will exists, if morality is relative, why we need friendship, if patriotism is irrational—“

“Okay, okay.” Sanji waved him off. “As much fun as that sounds, it’s not something that people talk about on a day to day basis.”

“Why not?”

“Why not? Because people don’t think about these things. They don’t want to know. They don’t care. They just want to live their lives.” The bartender brought two drinks over them and they drank in silence. The strange alcohol burnt Zoro’s throat as he drank; he had never tasted it before; and he had no idea what it was. But he had no intention of finding out. It tasted awful, but at this point, he didn’t care one bit.

“I don’t like that.”

“Don’t like what?”

“That people don’t care. Asking these questions will make the wold a better place for the future. We may even make ground breaking discoveries.” Sanji thought Zoro looked excited about his career. Which only made him wonder why he was going to end his life. He was too damn young to throw it all away.

“Yeah but people don’t want to know. That thing you said before – about if ignorance is better than truth. Well most people decide that ignorance is better- then they live their lives under the premise that the world will sort out the rest of their problems for them.”

“But if people knew the truth, the _whole_ truth. If people cared. We could solve world hunger- possibly even end wars.”

“I see you care a lot about the world. But you’re gonna end up dying before people will ever even think about solving those problems.” Zoro sighed. He knew that was true.

“I’m not sure if I can live in a world like this.”

“Well this shitty world is the only world. So, are you gonna go back to that bridge and jump off?” Zoro said nothing. The blond next to him ordered another round of drinks and slid one in front of Zoro, who sipped at it.

“You’re too tense. How old are you anyway?”

“20.”

“So, you’re in your third year of university?”

“Yeah.”

“How long’s your course?”

“4 years.” Zoro felt himself grow somewhat dizzy and his eye sight went slightly blurred.

“And what are you going to do after that?”

“I don’t know. I have no perception of a future for myself.” Zoro answered as honestly as he could, but Sanji rolled his eyes.

“Is that meant to be a philosophical thing?”

“No. I literally can’t imagine my future. I can’t plan it out. I don’t know where I want to be tomorrow let alone after I graduate.” Zoro’s entire world had flipped upside down and he had no idea even if he wanted to study philosophy anymore.

“Well, there can’t be many jobs for someone with your degree… I mean it is oddly specific. Have you thought about teaching philosophy?”

“Possibly. Although I think I would rather be a philosopher.”

“Can people even be philosophers these days?”

“Yes. You can go on to study a PhD and write papers, and if you’re good enough you can go on to work for huge research institutes and make lots of money.”

“Well that sounds awesome. Are you any good though?” Sanji asked honestly.

“I’m the best in my class.”

“Well, let’s drink to that!” Sanji was just trying to lighten the mood for the poor guy. He ordered another drink from the bartender and placed it in front of Zoro. He wasn’t sure if he was giving the kid too much to drink. But by the time Sanji was 20 he could keep down almost 15 shots of vodka. It was only his third. And it was only half vodka, the other half was coke.

“So what do you plan on doing with your short, futile life?”

“Why don’t you tell me how you really feel.” Sanji rolled his eyes sarcastically. “But anyway, I plan on staying a chef till the day I die. I love it. The hours are shit but the pay is good.”

“Where do you work?” The alcohol was building up Zoro’s confidence to ask questions to the man he just met, late at night on a strange bridge. Zoro just realised that he had agreed to stay in his home with him without knowing a single thing about him; other than his name, and his mysteriously swirly eyebrows.

“The Baratie. Heard of it?”

 “Yeah! My parents and I used to go all the time. It’s pretty fancy.”

“Well, it’s not exactly a family restaurant. So where are your parents right now?”

“I don’t know. Who cares?” Zoro was almost drunk- he was the sort of drunk that didn’t think before they blurted out whatever was on their mind.

“Are they going to be looking for you?”

“Only to kill me.” Zoro’s words slurred into each other, but Sanji could tell he was telling the truth. The green haired man had this look in his eyes. It was a wounded, angry look.

“What? Your parents are trying to kill you?” Sanji didn’t know what to think.

“How’d you think I got this gash?” He motioned to the inflamed, red laceration cut diagonally across his chest. It was nasty and Sanji knew it had better be covered soon, or it may get infected. But Zoro didn’t seem to mind it at all.

“Your parents did that to you?”

“My dad did.” All Sanji could think was: _oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my fucking god._ Who would do that to their _child_?

“Why?” Sanji asked. He couldn’t help himself. He had to know why on this stupid earth would parents try to kill their son. Zoro didn’t seem to mind his questioning. In fact, about half an hour ago, Zoro had decided to give up on life.  He was ready to take all his shitty problems to his grave. So, he didn’t understand why he was so scared to tell people about himself. I mean, how worse could it possibly get? So, Zoro decided: _fuck it_. And laid all his cards on the table, however shitty they may be.

“I told him I was gay.”

There was silence. Sanji nearly choked on his drink. He had to breathe in a sip of vodka and cover his mouth to stop himself from coughing it up. On the bridge the blond had assumed that the mysterious man was a homophobe – since he was saying stupid stuff about love and that gays were mutations and shit. But holy heck! He’s gay?

I mean, it’s not like Sanji had a problem with Zoro being gay. In fact, it was just the opposite; Zoro was hot. The fact was, Sanji had just invited a super-hot gay man to live with him – who also happened to be gay.

Who was he kidding? He shouldn’t be thinking about this _now_! The kid’s own father tried to _kill him_ for being gay! It was awful! What parents would do that?! Sanji came to the realisation that if he didn’t go up to the sad looking man on the edge of a bridge, Zoro would have killed himself- because his parents couldn’t accept that he was into men. It was disgusting. At that moment Sanji was pretty damn sure it was fate that brought them together that night. And he vowed that he would help this poor kid. Because he himself had to go through something similar when he was a teenager, and without the support of his friends and family, he probably would have wound up right on that exact bridge.

“So you came out to your parents and they attacked you with a knife?”

“A katana.” Zoro corrected deadpan. What the actual fuck? What kind of person would attack their own child with a sword? They are some messed up parents.

“Jesus Christ!” Sanji sat motionless staring at the face of the man he had just met. Zoro looked down miserably to the bottom of his empty glass. Sanji had no idea what to do. How did you comfort a man who was outcast by his own family? He called the bartender over and ordered two more drinks – straight vodka shots this time. “Do you have any other family?”

“No.”

“Well fuck.”

“Yeah it’s pretty shit.” The broccoli sighed. What annoyed the blond the most was that Zoro seemed distant from his own problems, it was like he almost didn’t care. It was seriously starting to annoy the hell out of Sanji.

“Why’d you tell them if you had nowhere else to go? You should have known that they would react that way, right?”

“Yeah. I had a feeling. That’s why I held off for so long. But I had no choice. They found me with a guy.”

“What happened to him?”

“I protected him; he ran, and I got this slash for it.”

“Was he your boyfriend?”

“No. Just sort of a thing – I’ll probably never see him again.” Zoro sipped at his drink. He hated the taste, but he didn’t really care. “I mean if someone attacked me with a fucking sword, I wouldn’t stay with them.”

“Yeah.” Sanji agreed. A comfortable silence clouded them both. “Oh, I guess I should probably tell you that I’m also gay.”

“Yeah, I figured that a while ago. I mean, you didn’t attack me with a sword.”

“Haha.” Sanji made an attempt at a laugh and ordered another drink. It was their fifth drink. And Sanji was going to make it their last. He could see Zoro’s eyes start to glaze – he was definitely getting drunk. The bartender placed their drinks in front of them.

“Thanks.” Zoro said to no one in particular as he sipped away at his beverage. “You know that explanation of love you made before, is it really like that?”

“Yes, it freaking is. I mean for some people it’s all unicorns and butterflies – and that’s what they tell you in the movies and stories but it’s never like that.”

“I’m starting to wonder why I bother in life if it’s just all pain.”

“It’s not that bad. You just have to find something that you love and keep doing it.  – I cook.”

“And I ponder the world’s shitty problems and ways that they could be fixed but never do anything about it because it’s futile just to try.” He sighed and slurred his words.

“You’re drunk. You’re not being yourself.”

“How am I not myself?” Zoro’s eyes widened. Sanji watched as he drew his face into a sort of brooding look. He didn’t look drunk anymore; it was almost like he became sober in that instance. “How am I not myself? I cannot not be myself because I have not changed my physical being. I will always be myself. I must be. But what if I am not acting myself? But I am still myself. Am I? Is it my behaviour that determines my ‘self’? or my physical body? How can you define your ‘self’?….” Zoro began to mutter something philosophical. Sanji had no idea what he was talking about.

“Okay genius, let’s take you home.” Sanji placed a hand on Zoro’s shoulder to help him up, but he soon realised that the giant wall of muscle needed a little more help than that. So Sanji grabbed Zoro’s wrist and held his arm around his neck; wrapping his other arm around his waist and walking him outside. Zoro stumbled on his feet, while rambling god knows what. He was undeniably drunk.

Thank god Sanji’s house was only a few streets away. They turned down an orange lit street; their breath just visible in the chilly air. Sanji only just remembered that he had given Zoro his coat. He shivered slightly and adjusted his tie.

The hillside neighbourhood was classy. The houses here went for about a million dollars each. But since Sanji was a five-star chef with part ownership of his father’s world class five-star restaurant, he could afford a fancy house. In fact, Sanji’s house, not only overlooked the river, but it looked over the city, had a pool, a spa, an elevator, and an enormous amount of rooms. But as Sanji thought about it, he realised that he had all those things, but he only had one bed. His bed. _Shit_. He thought to himself. Where the heck was he going to put this drunk kid?

As they tripped through the number locked wooden gate and climbed the front steps into courtyard, Zoro continued to ramble about being ‘himself’ or not ‘himself’. While Sanji fussed over where he was going to sleep. They finally pushed through the glass double doors and Sanji practically carried Zoro to the nearest couch and placed him down gently. His arms were killing him!

“I’m going to fix that cut for you. Is that okay?” Sanji mumbled as he left the room to get a first aid kit.

“Yeah.” Zoro gargled back. Sanji returned with a white tin with a red plus on the front.

“Can you take your shirt off please?” Sanji asked placing the tin down on the brown coffee table and taking out a gauze pad, a bandage and a bottle of brown coloured liquid.

 “Ooh, swirls we just met.” Zoro tried to flirt and joke at the same time – Sanji was not impressed.

“What did you just call me?”

 “Swirls- ‘cause your eyebrows…” Zoro looked at Sanji’s irritated face, and decided it was best he not annoy the person letting him stay for free. “Sorry, you’re helping me. Thanks.” Zoro sat up on the couch and took Sanji’s navy jacket off carefully and handed it back to him. He proceeded to lift his slashed t shirt by the neckline and pull it upwards over his head, removing it in one swift movement. Sanji couldn’t help but stare at his damn defined muscles – and the inflamed cut that would definitely scar his chest for the rest of his life.

“This may sting a bit.” Sanji whispered as he dabbed a cotton wool bud in the iodine solution and placed it to Zoro’s scared tissue.

“Tssssss” Zoro groaned and flinched slightly, pulling himself away from Sanji.

“Well I don’t think you need stiches which is good.” The blond tried to brighten the mood as he cleaned the blood from Zoro’s chest.

“I’m going to bandage it, to stop the bleeding. Stand up please.” Zoro tried to stand up straight, but his legs trembled under his weight and he almost fell over. Sanji caught the heavier man by the waist and stabilised him. “Put your arms out.” Zoro did as he was told, without question. Sanji was beginning to think that Zoro was the best drunk he had ever met. He placed the gauze diagonally across the wound and wrapped the bandage around Zoro’s chest and abdomen, wrapping around both shoulders to secure it; and held the end of the bandage down with tape.

“There.”

“Thanks”

“You’re welcome, dumb moss head.” Zoro released a drunken laugh, sort of like a manly giggle.

“No one’s ever called me that before.”

“And no one’s ever called me swirls before. Here’s some pyjamas for you to wear for the moment.” Sanji handed him a red and black plaid button-down flannel long sleeved shirt with matching flannel trousers.

“Thank you.”

“I don’t really have a spare bedroom. I mean, this place is huge but I only have one bed.” Sanji stated honestly.

“I’ll just sleep on the floor, anything is better than the street. Its cold outside.” It was true. Just being in a house right now was a million times better than his cold corpse floating down the Brisbane river. He probably wouldn’t have been found for days.

“I’ll put a mattress down for you. Follow me.” They walked up a spiral staircase to the main area of the house. It was huge. So far Zoro had counted 3 living rooms that were literally in the middle of the giant connected rooms.  On the second floor was the kitchen the dining room and several living spaces. Sanji kept guiding Zoro through the enormous hallways up to the third floor. The third floor had a huge number of rooms, most of which were empty. Zoro was sure that if he had to find his way around here by himself, he would get lost.

They walked into a bedroom furnished with a king bed and a single bedside table. The wardrobe was open and filled with what looked like only suits and a couple of chef’s whites. The balcony extending from the bedroom had a single chair and overhung the pool below. The sliding glass doors had no curtains and a stunning view of the star lit city flooded in.

Sanji opened a large sliding cupboard and inside was a white mattress. He pulled it out and placed it on the floor. “I mainly bought this place for the kitchen. I never really wanted a big house, but when I saw the size of the kitchen I just had to live here.” Zoro said nothing. “So, this is my room. Did you want me to move the mattress to a different one?” All the other rooms were completely bare; it felt eerie, and Zoro didn’t particularly want to spend the night alone.

“No, I’d like to stay here, if you don’t mind.” There was plenty of space, and the room had its own bathroom, which was almost the size of the room itself. It was huge! The bath even doubled as a spa.

“Yeah, okay. Let me grab some sheets, stay here.” Zoro took this opportunity to get dressed in the pyjamas Sanji had lent him. He took off his trousers and slipped into the comfy, perfectly fitted plaid flannel pants. Except when he tried to button up the shirt he was given, it wouldn’t reach over his board chest. he didn’t want to tear Sanji’s clothes trying to put it on, but he also didn’t want to sound ungrateful for asking for another shirt.

“Um…” Sanji walked through the door carrying a couple of bed sheets under his arm. “Sorry but the shirt wouldn’t fit. I couldn’t do up the buttons.” Sanji stared at the sad looking man, then at his insane pectorals. He blushed. Sanji wasn’t surprised the shirt didn’t fit him; he was skinny as hell and Zoro was not.

“That’s okay. I’m sure I’ll have a shirt that fits you.” Sanji put the sheets down and rummaged through his wardrobe for a couple of seconds. He was still blushing deeply. All he could think about was how much goddamn muscle that guy had. How could _that_ be a philosopher? He was hot. And all Sanji wanted to do was stare at his hot abs. He had _plenty_ of long sleeve shirts that he was sure could fit Zoro, but he didn’t want to give him any; because he wanted to see those toned as shit arms of his. He sighed. He was a pervert. But he also had no shame.

“I only have this singlet is that okay? I know it’s cold.”

“That is fine. Thank you.” Zoro took the black stretchy singlet from Sanji and threw it over his head and arms in one rapid movement. Damn he was graceful. Sanji laid the sheets over the mattress for Zoro. He didn’t have any more than two blankets. Both of which were currently on Sanji’s bed. It was the middle of winter. But nonetheless Sanji removed one from the top of his bed and gave it to Zoro. They were both going to be very cold. But it was only one night. Sanji could buy more blankets tomorrow. He was never used to having more than himself in the house.

Zoro laid down on the mattress and covered himself with the blanket. Sanji crawled into his bed on the other side of the room and turned out the desk lamp. It was dark. But it was still light enough to see quite well, the light of the moon and the lights from the city through were apparent through the glass sliding doors.  Zoro could hear the distinct sounds of Sanji breathing, and nothing else.

After what could only have been a few minutes Zoro could hear a strange noise emanating from Sanji. It was a clattering noise followed by shaky shallow breaths.

“Are you cold?”

“A little.”  Sanji was shivering. And it was unfair of him to use his only blankets like this. Zoro stood up in the light of the moon walked over to the king sized bed and laid his blanket over top of Sanji.

“Here.”

“You didn’t have to do that. Now you’ll be cold.”

“I’ll be fine. Plus, it’s the least I could do for everything you’re doing for me.” Sanji was shocked at the kindness of the odd man he met on a bridge. And Zoro was overwhelmed with happiness at the stranger that had saved his life and continued to help him. What shocked Sanji the most was that even when the green haired man with the gold earrings was drunk, he was still the sweetest man Sanji had ever met. Sanji had decided that even though they had literally just met that night; he was already starting to fall for the mysterious man.

“Come here.”  Zoro approached Sanji, who grabbed his wrist unexpectedly and pulled him into the bed with him. Zoro froze as the blond wrapped an arm over the other man. He said nothing and was too scared to move a single muscle. It was warm and cosy in bed with Sanji. But it was a little premature; I mean, they had _just_ met, and Zoro didn’t even know his last name.

“It’s better than one of us being cold, right?” Zoro relaxed his muscles, he was too tired to argue and too drunk to do anything but sleep. Except his stupid brain wouldn’t leave him alone. Zoro’s mind was racing through a million thoughts about philosophy and about Sanji. Most of all he wanted to know if Sanji had a boyfriend. The question really wouldn’t leave his brain. As time ticked by he just wanted to ask the blond more and more. But in _this_ situation _?_ That would be a little too obvious, wouldn’t it? “Go ahead and ask.” The blond whispered suddenly from behind him, almost scaring him to death.

“What? How did you know I wanted to ask anythi--”

“Just ask.”

“Do…” Zoro stammered. He was incredibly embarrassed. Earlier that night he was almost killed for this exact thing. But around Sanji, Zoro felt completely safe. And at peace. “Do you have a boyfriend?” Sanji laughed lightly without opening his mouth.

“No, I’m single. Just so you know. Now go to sleep.” He whispered delicately as Zoro drifted off into a drunken slumber.


	2. Is Truth Subjective?

Zoro awakened about half an hour after the sun rose, it was chilly, but Sanji’s bedroom faced east and the sun was a calming sight. He rolled over in the king-sized bed, the blond was gone. For a second he thought that maybe the stranger was just a dream – but that wouldn’t explain why he was in a strange house, with a hangover. His head ached with utmost urgency, but his mind was distracted from the pain in his head, by the stinging sensation running across his chest. Zoro moaned, that meant that it wasn’t a dream.

Zoro stood lazily and wandered around the giant empty house. He had trouble finding his way around the third floor and ended up in many empty rooms. He finally found the stairs down to the second floor and made his way down. Again, he wandered his way around and ended up in the same room about 3 times before he finally found the kitchen.

He heard a humming noise coming from behind the wall and quietly looked into the kitchen, Sanji was cooking something, it smelt delicious! Zoro’s mouth watered and his stomach reminded him that he hadn’t eaten in a while. The blond was rushing about and stirring, whisking, frying and cleaning all at the same time, but he didn’t look like he was in a rush. In fact, he had such a tranquillity in his movements, that Zoro couldn’t be sure that this wasn’t a dream. The blond was humming to himself cutely as he spun around the kitchen. He looked so peaceful and happy that Zoro didn’t want to disturb him.

He silently walked over to a dining room table and sat down, Sanji couldn’t see him unless he turned around. But it looked like he was in such a delightful trance that even if he did, he wouldn’t notice Zoro sitting at the table watching him.

After a while of Zoro listening to the blond’s calming voice. Sanji turned around to get something out of the fridge and looked straight at Zoro. Sanji blushed, he hadn’t noticed Zoro sitting there all this time. He didn’t even hear him walk in!

“How long have you been sitting there?”

“Not long.” Zoro lied, he had been there for almost half an hour; looking at the small, black and white analogue clock that hung on the wall beside him. Sanji continued to cook breakfast, but stopped humming, and his movements were not as flowing as before. He almost looked nervous now.

“I wanted to ask you last night, but I never really got the chance.” Sanji began to make conversation with the stranger he picked up on a bridge. “Why do you dye your hair?”

“I don’t. It’s naturally like this.”

“What? You’re telling me your hair is naturally green?” Sanji stared at him, he didn’t believe a word.

“Yeah. Well, not really. When I was about two I ate some root destroyer powder stuff, I don’t really know what it was, but I was in the hospital for a week and my hair turned green. I couldn’t breathe without a respirator for about a month. But after a year I was back to full health. The doctors said the green was from the build-up of copper sulphate in my system.” Zoro ran a hand through his short green hair. “My hair was really light before that so it went bright green.”

 “Holy shit.” It sounded awful, but Sanji couldn’t help but laugh, it was pretty funny. “You turned your hair green! Will it fade?”

“It hasn’t yet so I don’t think it ever will.”

“Jesus, well I guess the universe won’t let you catch a break huh?” Sanji finished putting things on plates and brought them over to the table. “Here you go.” The lean man placed a plate in front of Zoro. Pancakes – they were light and fluffy and perfectly circular, they were even covered with a fancy sauce, Zoro had no idea what it was but it smelt delicious! He began shovelling the pancakes into his mouth - as elegantly as he could – but he was starving.

 “Woah, slow down kid, you could choke.” Sanji watched the strange man guzzle down his breakfast at a tremendous speed. “Have you eaten lately?” Zoro couldn’t remember the last time he ate… breakfast yesterday? Wait, no, he skipped breakfast because he was late for class. He didn’t take lunch with him, so… Dinner two days ago. Yeah. He remembered eating a meat and potato pie.

“Not since Tuesday.” It was now Thursday. The green haired man hadn’t eaten for two days.

“Jesus. Here, have some more food.” Sanji grabbed some more pancakes out of the fridge and gave them to Zoro. Zoro heard the blond mutter ‘poor kid’ under his breath.

“Why do you keep calling me kid? You don’t look that much older than me.”

“I’m 26.” Zoro looked up at Sanji as he continued to eat his pancakes. They were six years apart in age. The generally acceptable age gap between partners is one fifth their age – which was 4 years for Zoro. Sanji was just a little bit older than acceptable to date. But Zoro didn’t care at all. They were only 6 years apart; it wasn’t the end of the world. Oh shit.  Zoro didn’t realise that he was thinking so hard about dating the man until it was too late. He blushed. Zoro had a serious crush on the man that had saved his life, but they only just met yesterday.

They sat in silence, while they ate breakfast. There was nothing for either of them to say - they barely knew each other, but at the same time it felt like they had known each other for years.

“So, today’s my day off,” Sanji began “we can go and get you some clothes that actually fit you if you like.” Sanji stared at Zoro’s broad chest and square shoulders, his abs stuck out under the black singlet he was wearing almost as much as his collarbones did, it was crazy. “And some extra blankets.” He added after Zoro caught him staring at his chest.  

“Sure. Thank you for everything.” Zoro was honestly thankful. He was shocked that the stranger he met yesterday was still offering to do all of this for him.

“Yeah, well I went through a stage of my life where I didn’t know if anyone would accept me either.” Sanji’s honesty was overwhelming to Zoro. He had never met someone, in his entire life that was this open, and he loved it! But what Zoro didn’t know yet, was that Sanji was never this open to anyone. The blond just felt like Zoro was such an unjudgmental person that he could say whatever he liked to him, without fear or consequences. “What happened to you was my worst nightmare when I was in the closet.”

“Yeah.” Zoro agreed shyly. He still barely felt comfortable talking about his sexuality with anyone. He was so used to having to hide it, that it was hard to discuss. He had no idea how Sanji did it with ease. “How do you do it? Be so openly gay, I mean.” Zoro sighed. “How do you deal with homophobes?” Sanji chuckled to himself.

“It’s easy really. You just have to tell yourself that homophobia doesn’t exist. It’s not a phobia. People aren’t scared. They’re just assholes.” Zoro laughed quietly, because in the world of this strange blond man everything was black and white. Whereas, Zoro was used to wading through the greyest of grey. He had become accustomed to the fact that morals were subjective, and right and wrong was just a concept that humans created. Zoro’s head was pounding – he had a hangover and couldn’t be bothered to think about philosophy at six o’clock in the goddamn morning. “Hey, can I ask you to do something for me?”

“Of course,” Zoro owed him that much at least.

“Can you promise me that you’ll be completely honest with me? I mean, if there is one thing I hate, it’s dishonesty. And if you’re going to be staying here, my only request is that you tell the truth- always. And I promise you that I will always be truthful.” Zoro didn’t even have to think about it to agree, he never liked lying anyway.

“Sure thing. But there’s not much I can lie to you about – I mean you already know all my worst secrets.” They stopped talking for a while and Zoro just watched Sanji wipe down the kitchen bench with a damp cloth. “But, on the subject of honesty, I should probably tell you that…” Zoro wasn’t sure if he should say it, but he’d already come this far, and Sanji was staring at him. “I’ve never felt this safe before in my entire life, and you’re a complete stranger. With my own family, I had this fear that they would find out and hurt me.” Sanji felt honoured that he had helped the younger man and he could feel safe around him. but he was also confused… If he was scared of his parents finding out… why was he with a guy at his house?

“So why were you with a guy at your house if you were so worried?” Zoro sighed.

“He came on to me first. We trained together – at a dojo. I wasn’t sure if I liked him, but one day he came over my house – and that just happened to be the day my dad walked into my room without knocking.”

“Well that’s pretty shit.”

“Yeah.” Zoro fidgeted. “So how did your family take the being gay thing?” Sanji laughed, thinking about to his ‘coming out of the closet’ story.

“Well I was so nervous and I didn’t know how to bring it up in a conversation, so I made a batch of cookies, and on one I iced the word GAY in rainbow. I went up to my old geezer, showed him the biscuit and said… ‘you are what you eat!’ and shoved the whole cookie into my mouth. He didn’t stop laughing for an hour!” Zoro laughed heartily, Sanji joined him, and continued the story whilst smiling like an idiot. “After he stopped laughing he said that he already knew I was gay and was waiting for me to tell him properly. Life went on just as it was before, except I was freer. I didn’t have to watch what I said or how I acted. It was the best thing I have done in my whole life.” He smiled to himself happily and honestly. Except Sanji realised that Zoro looked sad. It was like the blond was rubbing it in his goddamn face. Zoro was glad that Sanji was happy, and he had a good relationship with his parents. But it hurt Zoro that the only people in the world that were supposed to cherish and protect him threw him out like a fucking dog.  The more he thought about it the angrier he got, and sadder.

Zoro made no sound but his eyes swelled up in an instant and tears streamed out of his inflamed eyes. Sanji noticed and quickly grabbed a box of tissues from the kitchen counter and placed it in front of Zoro. Zoro grabbed out some tissues; wiped his eyes, and blew his nose

“Look, I want to tell you that it gets easier, but to be honest I don’t know if it ever will.” Sanji leant against the table next to Zoro. “Your parents may never come to realise that they disowned you for something that you couldn’t change. You may never see them again. But they may also track you down in the future and apologise for everything. Then again, you may just have to face the fact that you may never see your family again.” Sanji sighed, and placed a comforting hand on Zoro’s shoulder. “But there are thousands of people out there that do accept you. Thousands of people that are going through similar things right now. And we’re just lucky that we live in a part of the world that accepts us – I mean we don’t have gay marriage here in Australia yet – which is fucking bullshit! But in Sudan, homosexuality is punishable by death.  And I know you lost a family yesterday, but can you honestly tell me that they loved you? That they cared about you? They would never have attacked you, if they truly loved you for who you are. I think it’s for the best that you’re out of their lives. You would have had to tell them eventually – and maybe it wasn’t the best circumstances – but now you can live the life you want to without having to hide your feelings.”

After a while Zoro’s tears dried up. Sanji was telling the truth. Life was better now. Zoro wasn’t living in fear and sorrow.  But he was still sad that things couldn’t be this way with his family.

“That probably only made things worse. I’m not very good at reassuring.” Sanji took a delicate, slender hand, ruffled his fringe and smoothed it back down again. He grabbed out a cancer stick, lit it and breathed in.

“No, you helped. Thanks.” They were silent for a few minutes. Zoro didn’t really know what to say, or do.  

“So, I just realised, I don’t even know your last name.”

“It’s Roronoa.”

“That’s a cool fucking name dude. My last name’s Vinsmoke. Shit. Are you going to be okay to work and go to school? Do you need to take some time off?”

“No, I’ll be fine. I don’t have to go back to class until Monday now. Wait! I forgot that all my textbooks and my notes are in my room at my house. My laptop has my assignments on it!” Zoro put his face in his hands.

“We’ll just have to get your stuff from your room then.” Sanji smirked. His brain was having fun thinking of ways he could get back at Zoro’s awful, homophobic parents.  “Do you have a window in your room?”

“Are you planning on breaking into my house?”

“Well we can’t exactly talk to your parents.” Zoro smiled to himself. This guy – who he just me -  was going to help him commit a crime! Who the heck was this guy? And where was he, for the first 20 years of his life?!

“Yeah okay. But we should do it on Sunday morning – they’ll be at church.” Sanji laughed; they had just agreed to commit burglary – but neither of them seemed to think it was a big deal.

“It won’t be a problem.” Sanji grinned at the green haired man. Sanji stared briefly at the bandage around Zoro’s chest, it was only partially covered by the tight, black singlet he was wearing. “I should probably change the dressing.”

Zoro stood and lifted the shirt off over his head like a hunk in action movies – Sanji was pretty damn sure that Zoro was a stripper in another life. Because Jesus Christ, he had the body of Channing Tatum and the jaw to match. But the green hair and gold earrings gave him a punk look. Despite this, he had the most caring personality. Passing him on the street you would assume that he was an arrogant punk; but if anyone actually had a conversation with the guy they would instantly realise that he cared so much about the people around him that he would do anything to protect them. 

In that instance Sanji forgot what other men looked like, sounded like and even acted like; because he was sure this guy was the hottest and gentlest, fucking man that he had ever met. Sanji’s eyes welled up with tears just thinking that last night, if he hadn’t chosen to take the scenic route home, this man would be on the bottom of the Brisbane river.

Sanji wanted this bizarre man all to himself – and they had barely just met! There was definitely a lot of conversation to go through before Sanji’s brain would catch up to his heart.

“So, the guy you made out with…Tell me about him.”  Sanji began unwrapping the bandage, revealing more of Zoro perfectly smoothed skin and toned muscles. Goddamn it; it was almost criminal to be _this_ good looking. Sanji certainly had to be careful what conversations he started, if he didn’t want to come on to the man too fast.

“Luffy? He comes to the same dojo as me. He learns Karate, while I learn Kendo- sword fighting. He’s younger, and insanely childish. But he’s a machine on the mats - at white belt he could take down a black belt – with no training. He’s even won some pretty respectable comps.” Sanji made mental notes about the type of people Zoro liked – young, childish and a good fighter. So far it wasn’t looking up for him. Zoro sighed, but not as much as Sanji did in his head. Zoro may only date people that are younger and he’s known for a long time which pretty much rules Sanji out completely.

“Except I never wanted to date him– he isn’t really my type. I didn’t get to tell him yesterday. I think he may hate me now.” The only thing Sanji heard was that he wasn’t Zoro’s type – which meant there was hope for Sanji yet!

“OW!” Oh shit. Sanji was too busy starring at Zoro’s face he didn’t realise that he was tearing the gauze off Zoro’s chest.

“Oh, sorry. This might hurt a little.”

“That would have been nice to know a second ago.” Sanji looked down, he was sad somehow. Thinking about Zoro made him remember his past relationships – and he thought that maybe it wasn’t a good idea to start another. “What’s the matter?”

“I was just thinking about my shitty life.”

“Oh yeah? Go on, tell me. I’ve told you about mine.”

“Well, every person I’ve ever cared about ditched me because I ‘care too much’.”

“How can you care _too_ much?”

“I knew everything about them – every little detail – but they knew absolutely nothing about me.” Sanji grabbed an alcohol swab out of his first aid kit and cleaned Zoro’s wound. He winced at the stinging, but said nothing. “I was putting in too much effort, and I didn’t even realise it. I thought I was being a nice person but apparently, that’s not enough.” He sighed, it obviously hurt him deeply. “Anyway, I’m done.” Sanji finished wrapping the bandage and taped the end down. “Let’s walk into town.” Sanji grabbed a black coat to match his black tie and Zoro got dressed in a plain white t-shirt that showed off his tight chest and the pants that he was wearing yesterday. They left the house and were followed by the dirty-brown Brisbane river on the left as they walked down the street.

“About that honesty agreement thing – since truth is subjective, I don’t really understand what you want me to tell you.” Zoro continued conversation after a while of silence.

“What?” Sanji had no idea what he was talking about.

“It has long been debated if truth is subjective or not – if it’s based solely on a person’s perspectives, feelings, or opinions, or if there are objective truths. You see if truth is subjective then all I have to do to tell the truth is tell you my opinions on the matter, which may or may not be the actual truth-”

“You know what, I don’t really care.” Sanji interrupted. “If I ask you a question I expect that you tell me the truth. And I will do the same. Okay?” Zoro nodded. Sanji didn’t answer his question – but he just assumed that he would have to tell Sanji both the subjective truth and the absolute truth (if it existed).

“Since this agreement is pretty much truth serum. Have you got anything you want to ask me?” Sanji snickered. He could have some real fun with this.

“Do you think truth serums would be immoral?” Sanji sighed. He was disappointed that these were the questions the guy chose to ask him.

“Not really. If someone has information that could save someone’s life, I think the authorities have a right to that information. Don’t you?”

“Perhaps. But I also think that forcing someone to tell the truth goes against our rights of free speech and civil liberties.” Sanji did not agree, but he swallowed his opinions. “You don’t agree with me, I can tell. But that’s because you view the world in black and white. You are a very morally justified.” Sanji took that as an insult and grew aggravated.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He growled.

“You have a strong set of morals. I think it’s a good trait to have. It means you can go through your life without ever wondering what is right and wrong.” Zoro smiled at Sanji to deflate the tension. “I asked you a question, so now it’s your turn.”

 “Well, what’s your type?” Sanji smiled internally; he was really trying to test the waters for a possible future relationship.

“My type?” Zoro didn’t understand. “Oh, to date?” Sanji nodded. “Well….” He thought about it. he didn’t really know the qualities he liked best in people, because he had never dated anyone. But he generally liked understanding people in generally, so he would just go with that. “I don’t really know. But probably, something like: responsible, intelligent, caring, sympathetic, loyal and a good sense of humour I guess. But then that’s pretty much standard for everyone, isn’t it?” Sanji was still taking notes. His humour wasn’t all that great, but he was certainly responsible and intelligent; and if saving Zoro’s life and giving him a place to stay wasn’t caring, then he really didn’t know what was. Now there was just looks… he needed to know what Zoro found attractive (without having to ask again – Zoro might get suspicious).

“No, I meant looks. Like tall, muscular?” Sanji revelled mischievously in his cunningness.

“Oh…” Zoro was really screwed this time. “Well I don’t really mind, as long as they are compassionate. But if I got to choose then I guess I’d say…” Shit. Zoro was just trying to get through the day without secretly admitting to himself that Sanji was hot. But it was too late.  He looked over to Sanji as they walked along the river. Sanji had to be the most sophisticatedly well-dressed man he had ever met, and Zoro didn’t hate it. In fact, he loved the way Sanji’s suits showed off his spider-like legs. Zoro thought that they would be the perfect fit – since opposites attract. Sanji’s thin, and elegant structure, completely complemented Zoro’s heavier, muscular set. So, he had to just use Sanji as an example, without saying too much hopefully. “Tall, well dressed, and good at fighting.”

“What about you? What’s your type?” Sanji nearly choked on the air he was breathing. Shit. Shit. Shit. There had to be some way he could tell the truth, without admitting his feelings too much.

“A fucking badass.” He laughed. Zoro didn’t really know what that meant – but he was pretty sure that he wasn’t one. “I’m just kidding.” Sanji joked. “My type is Channing Tatum.”

“Who’s that?” Sanji was offended that the absolute Tatum replica beside him didn’t even know who that was.

“He’s an actor. The point is he’s got sweet muscles and a razor-sharp jaw. My turn.” Sanji smirked as he thought of an embarrassing question to ask. “Are you a virgin?” He turned to the muscular guy and watched his face and neck turn bright red. He said nothing for a while, then only meekly spat out the answer.

“Yes.” Sanji burst into laughter.

“Ha-ha!! You’re 20 and still a virgin.”

“Shut up!” Sanji continued to laugh at him. “Fine, if you’re going to be that way… Tell me, how did you lose your virginity?” Sanji stopped laughing in an instant. This was not a story he was prepared to tell to a stranger, but he couldn’t lie. He sighed and settled for simply avoiding the hard parts.

“I was 15. And I got drunk – underage I know.” He ruffled his blond hair and smoothed it again.  “But this was when I was just trying to figure myself out. So, I went over to the house of my friend I had a crush on and I told him that I liked him, drunk. He swore at me and called me a faggot so I ran away. I was young and upset and I had no idea what to do, so I called another friend –he was 24 and living in an apartment. I went home with him and told him everything. One thing led to another and that’s how I-

“No, it’s not.” Zoro interrupted, sneering and trying to return the mischievousness that Sanji began. “That is to whom you lost your virginity, not _how_.” Sanji grew annoyed at the stupid smirk on Zoro’s face!

“What do you want me to say?” He grew aggravated, flared his nostrils and screwed up his face into a scowl. “I told him to stop but he didn’t.” Oh shit. Zoro just opened a can of worms that could ruin everything. Sanji stopped walking, pulled a pack of cancer sticks out of his jacket pocket and tried three times to start the flame with his tarnished silver lighter, but his trembling hands didn’t allow him. Zoro took the lighter from Sanji and held the flame for him. Sanji nodded in thanks, and breathed in the tar filled smoke. Zoro said nothing, he knew where this was going, and it was all his fault. He would not be surprised in the least if the kind man turned around and left him all alone, for what he just did. “I was too wasted to fight and he raped me.” There was silence. Zoro did _not_ want to make this situation any worse.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered to the blond.

“Yeah, and what’s that gonna achieve?” Sanji sighed and inhaled his cancer stick. Zoro couldn’t let this go. But he was afraid that if he pushed the point that Sanji would hate him, but if he didn’t at least try to comfort him; then he would hate himself.

“It’s not your fault you know.” Zoro had heard that under many circumstances, victims of sexual assault often blame themselves. He just wanted to make sure that the kind blond knew the truth.

“Like hell!” Sanji clenched his fists and snapped his cancer stick in half. “I’m the one that got drunk! I’m the one that got rejected! I’m the one that _called him_! I’m the one that went to his _house_! That was all me! So, you can’t tell me that it’s not my bloody fault!” He shouted.

“But you’re _not the one_ that didn’t stop when they were told. That was _him_. _He_ broke the law.” Sanji grew more aggravated. But Zoro’s face never displayed anything other than compassion. Zoro was making this worse, but somehow Sanji couldn’t stay mad at the guy - he was just trying to help. Sanji’s scowl vanished and his anger with it; he took several deep breaths and combed a quivering hand through his dishevelled hair.

“Then why didn’t I hate it?” The blond muttered in a course whisper. It was so quiet that Sanji didn’t expect Zoro to be able to hear what he said… But he did. Zoro delicately, and calmly stated his response back to Sanji.

“That’s not your fault either, the human body is hard wired to respond to intimacy with arousa---” This was too much for the blond to take. He needed to shut this down right now.

“Stop! Look, it happened a long time ago and I’m just trying to forget it okay?” He glared straight into Zoro’s eyes, but Zoro couldn’t meet Sanji’s face. Zoro looked directly at the ground as they continued walking without speaking a word. Sanji was still shaking, but there was nothing Zoro could do about it. He hated this feeling of powerlessness.  But most of all, he hated that Sanji might hate him, for making him tell him that story.

Except Sanji didn’t hate him. In fact, it was just the opposite. Sanji had never told _anyone_ that story, and he had been struggling with the guilt and shame for more than 10 years. But finally, it was like a weight was lifted, and he didn’t have to deal with it alone anymore. Every second Sanji was with Zoro he was piled with endless reasons why he should date the guy. And not one single negative thought about Zoro crossed his mind. Except he wasn’t quite prepared to start a relationship too soon – they had only met yesterday after all.

“Oh shit!” Zoro stopped in his tracks. “That’s Luffy.” He pointed to a short black haired boy. “Hide!” Zoro grabbed Sanji by the wrist and dragged him around a corner and down an alley way, they hid behind a garbage bin.

“What the heck? Why are we hiding? Don’t you want to talk to him?”

“He probably hates me. And if he doesn’t now, he’ll hate me when I tell him that I’m not interested in him.”

“You made out with him before you could tell him that you didn’t like him?”

“Yeah.”

“Why the heck did you make out with him then!?”

“I don’t know… I just sort of did.”

“Zoro! I’ve been looking for you everywhere! I thought your parents killed you!” How did he always know where Zoro was? It was like Luffy’s sixth sense. The strange teenager ran up to them and almost knocked them both over like bowling pins, he stretched his lanky arms around Zoro’s broad chest and hugged him from behind. To Sanji, he looked like he was 12 – but that couldn’t have been right. Why would Zoro have a crush on someone so young?

“Shit.” Zoro whispered under his breath. “Well, Luffy this is Sanji.” Zoro gestured to the blond. But the kid stayed attached to the muscular man’s back. He really did look like he was 12.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Luffy.” Sanji reached out his hand to shake Luffy’s but the boy didn’t let go of Zoro. Sanji didn’t know whether he should leave them to catch up, or stay to back up Zoro.

“I don’t like him!” The boy pouted. Sanji frowned.

“That’s not very nice, Luffy, you don’t know him.” Zoro made an apologetic face.

“Come on Zoro let’s go!” Luffy tried to drag him away, But Zoro’s superior force kept him there.

“Go where, Luffy? I thought you’d hate me, for what happened.”

“Why would I hate you? your parents are the ones I hate.” Luffy sprung from the ground with his legs and wrapped them around Zoro’s waist so he was clinging to Zoro’s back and chest.

 “OW! Luffy get off!” Zoro held his chest in pain. Blood seeped slowly through his white shirt – Luffy had opened Zoro’s wound. But the teenager did not get off.  “Luffy!” Zoro yelled at him louder and clutched his injured chest. 

“Hey! He said get off!” Sanji stepped in, grabbed the small boy and tried to pull him off Zoro by force. But the boy clutched Zoro tighter and his chest wound opened more until blood was streaming from his torso. Sanji finally pulled the boy off and he struggled in the air, thrashing his arms and kicking his legs. Sanji put him down, but he spun around quickly and clocked Sanji right on the nose before he could jump out of the way. “Asshole!” Sanji’s nose dripped blood onto the concrete bellow.

Luffy tried to punch Sanji again but he dodged, raised a leg, and kicked Luffy straight in the chest, throwing him up against the concrete wall of the alley. Except the boy wasn’t effected at all and he bounced back to throw a flurry of quick jabs at Sanji who dodged most of them by flipping onto his hands and spin- kicking Luffy onto his back on the concrete. Zoro was on his knees. The blood was streaming out of his chest and dripping onto the cold, hard ground. This was not good. Zoro was losing a lot of blood. He may even need stiches this time.

“Stop it okay!” Sanji shouted at the boy who got up again and came at Sanji.

“Why should I?! You stole Zoro from me!” Sanji took a defensive stance as Luffy continued to approach.

“Stole him? I saved him from jumping off a fucking bridge! Where the hell were you when he needed you?!”

“Shut up!”

“Look at him, help me get him to a doctor.” Sanji pointed to Zoro who was laying on his side on the ground – he looked pale. He was still conscious but he looked like he could pass out at any second.

“I’m not going anywhere with you! Zoro is my boyfriend!” Luffy attacked Sanji again and landed a few solid hits, while blocking some of Sanji’s moves. But the blond thrusted his right let above his chest – further than the boy thought he could and gave him a hard kick to the stomach, sending him onto his back again.

“No, he’s not! He doesn’t even like you!” Sanji just wanted this stupid fucking fight to stop.

“What?” The kid perched up on the concrete, ready to attack again at a moment’s notice.

“It’s true, Luffy. I’m sorry, you’re still a good friend, but I don’t have those sorts of feelings for you. Please stop fighting.” Zoro half whispered-half moaned from the ground where he was laying.

“But-, but…” Tears streamed suddenly down the kid’s cheeks. Zoro’s wound would not stop bleeding. But he struggled, and sat up to look Luffy directly in the eyes.

“I know, I led you on and that was my fault. I was going to tell you yesterday after you told me you liked me… But I thought you hated me.”

“I do hate you! And I hope you die!” The kid screeched through his tears and ran straight out of the alley. 

“Luffy, wait--!”  Zoro didn’t want any of this. He reached out after the kid and fought to stand but he quickly tumbled over. Luckily, Sanji caught him before he fell, wrapping an arm around his waist and lifting one of Zoro’s arms over his shoulders.

“Let’s go. I’ll take you to the hospital.” They stumbled out of the alley.

“No. I don’t want to go to a hospital.” The last thing he wanted right now was a crowd of doctors asking him how he got this wound.

“You’re being dumb. You need stiches!”

“If you have a needle and some dental floss, I can do it myself.” Sanji had those things. And he had the knowledge to stick up a wound.

“Fine. Fine! But you’re letting me do the stitching.” They half hobbled- half stumbled back to Sanji’s mansion as fast as they could. Each step pumped even more blood out of Zoro’s chest. Sanji had to move quickly. They stumbled through the double doors and Sanji put him down on the couch immediately

“I’ll be right back! Try not to die.” Sanji ran out of the room instantly and returned with the same first aid kit he had this morning, dental floss and a curved needle. At this point, Zoro was so tired of life that he just wanted to lie down and die, and every single one of his family and friends seemed to want that too. But he couldn’t, there was something about Sanji’s urgency that made him fight his blurred vision and light-headedness. But his wound only continued to bleed everywhere. “I’m going to have to take the shirt off.” Zoro was pale – he could barely stay conscious. So Sanji grabbed the scissors from the first aid kit and cut straight up the middle of the shirt. He unwrapped the blood-soaked bandage quickly and removed the gauze.

“Sorry about your shirt.”  Zoro mumbled in a daze. Jesus, this guy was still sweet when he was about to die! Sanji pressed a black towel to Zoro’s chest hard with one hand. With his other hand, he grabbed out a long strand of dental floss and soaked it in a tub of the iodine-based antiseptic. He took out a large, curved needle and dipped it in the brown solution as well.

“Hold this.” Sanji motioned to the towel. Zoro placed his hands over the towel and pressed it into his chest. He didn’t have much strength. “Okay this is going to hurt a bit.” Sanji dipped his hands into the antiseptic, threaded the needle and tied a knot in the end of the dental floss. He took the towel from Zoro and squirted the wound with betadine. Zoro hissed in pain. But Sanji kept going. He pinched the skin of the open wound together and stabbed the needle deeply through both sections of the flesh. Zoro grimaced. “Oh shit.”

“That’s not what I want to hear when you’re stabbing me with a needle!” Zoro slurred.

“I didn’t give you anything for the pain.” Sanji continued to squeeze Zoro’s wound together and run the needle through his skin.

“Just hurry up and get it over with.” Zoro held onto the towel with his hands – it obviously hurt like hell. But Sanji continued to stitch up the open wound as quickly and as delicately as he could. He could thank his high school home economics teachers for this. And all those times he’d fixed hems and holes in his clothes. Not to mention intricate dishes he had to make in culinary school. They were a pain – but definitely not as much pain as Zoro was in right now.

“Okay, done.” Sanji finished stitching and tied a triple knot in the end of the floss. He cut the end and rinsed the wound again with betadine, before patching it up with another gauze pad. He taped it down securely and tightly bandaged the man’s chest, for the second time that day. Sanji’s hands were covered in blood, and so was his coffee table. He picked up the bloody bandages and equipment and packed them into the basin. He grabbed a cloth and wiped down his hands and the table as best he could. “I’ll be right back” he stood to get some disinfectant to clean the table but Zoro grabbed his wrist. He looked better, but he still looked like he could fait at any second, he shouldn’t leave this guy alone for long. And just in case, he should put emergency services on speed dial.

“It’s okay, I can clean up.” Zoro put his feet on the floor and went to stand, but his knees wouldn’t support his weight and he almost dragged Sanji down with him. Thankfully the blond expected him to stumble and caught him before he fell. He was heavy.

“No, you can’t.” Sanji pushed him back onto the couch. “You can’t do much of anything. You look pale as death and I’m going to make you a sandwich.” Sanji stomped out of the room and brought back a basin with soapy water and a clean towel. “Here, wash your hands.” Zoro did as he was told, as Sanji left the room again. This time he dumped all of the bloody instruments into the sink and washed his hands. “What the heck am I doing?” he asked himself.

He looked into the mirror over the kitchen sink. There was dried blood coming out of his nose and his cheekbone was turning purple. He sighed and rubbed the blood off his face with a clean, damp cloth. His black suit had patches of drying blood on it too. This was not how he wanted to spend his day off. He began getting ingredients out to make Zoro a sandwich –ham and cheese– he would toast it, it was cold today. Oh, that reminds him- he should get a blanket for the guy! He must be freezing with all the blood he lost. Sanji went upstairs and pulled a blanket off his bed and returned to the couch. Zoro was not there. Oh shit!

“Hey! Where are you?” Sanji began to panic, he seriously wanted to call an ambulance. “I’ve got a blanket for you!” He called through the house but heard no response. He freaked out – where the hell was he? “Hey! Zoro! Where are you?!” He heard some sort of moaning noise coming from the hall, and sure enough – it was Zoro splayed out on the floor. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I was just trying to help you make a sandwich.”

“You were going to crawl on your stomach to the kitchen? And help me make a sandwich on the floor?”

“Yeah.” It was almost like he was drunk.

“You’re an idiot.” Sanji hit his face with his palm, hurt his cheekbone and winced behind his hand. “You weren’t even going the right way to the kitchen!” He laughed. “And here, I got you a blanket. Now come back to the couch. You’ve lost a lot of blood.” Sanji helped him walk back to the couch and laid him down gently, covering him with the blanket. “Don’t move, I’ll bring you a sandwich.”

“You don’t have to do this you know.”

“Do what?”

“Help me. If I’m annoying you, you can just tell me to get out of your house – I won’t think any less of you. You’ve already done so much for me.” Sanji stared down directly into Zoro’s eyes – they weren’t blue but you got the impression that you could swim in them.

“Are you kidding? There’s no way I’m kicking you out – your only friend just told you he hated you.”

“Don’t you hate me too?” His dark eyes looked deeper than the ocean, and there was so much painful honesty in them. He was so afraid of being alone.

“Jesus, do you think everyone hates you?”

“They sort of do.” Sanji had to admit that it was true – even his own family hated him – he really didn’t have a single friend in the world.

“I don’t hate you dude. And I know we just met– but I consider you my friend.” That was what Zoro wanted to hear. He _needed_ to hear it. He had nothing to live for. Not a single person in the world cared about him now, only Sanji. Sanji left the room for a few minutes before returning with a toasted ham and cheese sandwich and a glass of water.

“Thank you.” Zoro ate the food without question. He still looked seriously pale – but he was getting better.

“Do you want me to get you another shirt?” Sanji asked. “Are you cold? I can grab the other blanket.”

“No, I’m okay. Thanks. And I’m sorry for ruining your clothes and stuff.” He sighed “And for Luffy punching you, he may be small but he’s a pretty good fighter. Actually, you’re not so bad yourself – where did you learn moves like that?”

“From my old man.”

“You don’t like to use your hands when you fight. Is that because you want to distance yourself from any crime that you may commit? If there’s no blood on your hands then you don’t feel as guilty, right?” If that wasn’t an indication that Zoro was fine, then Sanji didn’t know what was.

“What are you a philosopher or a shrink?”

“I studied a bit of psychology in my course. Or maybe I’m reading too deeply and you just don’t want to hurt your hands because you need them to cook…” This fucking guy. He knew everything about Sanji. They met yesterday – yesterday! He sighed, it seemed to be the opposite of what everyone said about him…Maybe that was a good sign?

“How do you already know so much about me?! We met yesterday!”

“You’re very honest with me. And you probably spend most of your time lying to avoid the truth, in your other relationships.”

“I never lie.” Sanji hated lying, he thought lying and cheating was the epitome of criminals. He just didn’t like talking about himself. He didn’t really want people to know things about him– for some reason, he didn’t think that they would understand what he had to say.

“But you avoid talking about yourself a lot. Mostly because you are afraid that people won’t understand you.” He was right again. It was like the stupid guy could read Sanji’s mind! “No matter how confident you seem on the outside, on the inside you’re afraid. You’re afraid that you might open up to someone, like you did before and get rejected again. Or worse, you’re afraid that they might hurt you again.” Sanji said nothing – it was true and he knew it. “Oh wait… Don’t listen to me I think I’ve displaced my fears onto you. I was fucking shit at the psychology unit last year.”

“Haha. No, I think you’re pretty spot on.” Sanji joked falsely. They fell silent again, but it wasn’t an awkward silence – it was strangely comfortable. Neither of them felt like they had to say anything fake to keep the conversation going. There was no discussing the weather, or television, or sports, or news, or work. There was just a genuinely honest silence. In fact, it was so peaceful that Sanji didn’t really want to break it. “I’ll have to go out today to get some things. Did you want to just stay here and rest?”

“I’d like to go with you, if you don’t mind.”

“You can barely walk, plus we might run into Luffy again.” Zoro sighed.

“He told me to die! What did I do wrong?” Zoro’s voice held nothing but regret and sorrow.

“You led him on, he thought you cared about him but you didn’t – you lied to him.”

“But I…”

“I know what you meant, but you let him believe that there was something between you, and when you took it away again it hurt him, so he lashed out at you.”

“How many people have you been with anyway?” Like Sanji, Zoro hated talking about himself, but loved to know things about others. Which probably meant that only selfish people could stand his company. Except, Sanji was the least selfish person he had ever met, and they seemed to get along fine.

“Over a dozen. As a teenager, I was reckless and stupid. Hell, I’m still stupid. I’ve never been with anyone for long though.”

“And you couldn’t commit with any of them?”

“Whoa, whoa.” Sanji raised his arms to stop Zoro’s train of thought. “I don’t have commitment issues! I just don’t like people to know too much about me. And you’re doing the same damn thing that I do! I mean I know nothing about you, but you seem to know everything about me!”

“Ha-ha” Laughing hurt Zoro’s chest. Breathing hurt Zoro’s chest. Every damn movement he made hurt his chest. But he continued his conversation with Sanji nonetheless. “Well what do you want to know? When I was 8 I fell down the stairs at the dojo and broke my arm. You already know how my hair turned green and how I was kicked out, so I think that’s pretty much everything.”

“Tell me about your parents.”

“They were pretty strict, but they took care of me. They forced me to go to church every week and read the bible from cover to cover.”

“Man, that sounds mind-numbing.”

“It was. What was worse, was when I got up to the part about homosexuality being an ‘abomination’” Zoro chuckled it off. “I straight up refused to read it.”

“Really, how’d your parents react?”  

“My dad hit me across the face and made me read it.” There it was. Sanji was sure that when he began asking about Zoro’s parents he would eventually get down to the history of abuse. There was no way Zoro’s parents had not tried to hurt him before last night. He had healed scars all over his body.

“Did he hit you often?” Sanji lowered his voice and spoke slowly and calmly.

“Only when I disobeyed him – which was pretty often I guess.” Zoro took several deep breaths, and rubbed his face with his hands.

 “It’s not your fault, you know?”

“Don’t use my psychology on me. That’s cheating!”

“But it’s true. It’s your dad’s fault, he fucking hit you! What did your mum do?”

“She just stayed out of it most of the time.”

“Did she help your dad try to kill you?”

“No. She just sat in the corner crying” Zoro’s mind raced back to the brief moments after he was found with Luffy. He closed his eyes and imagined his mother, she sat curled up in the corner of the small room, rocking back and forth clutching an old framed photograph. Tears streamed down her face and made her wrinkles look bigger, she looked like she was 60. She wailed loudly as Zoro’s father shouted at him. “She was holding a picture of me as a kid. It was like…” Zoro couldn’t bring himself to say it without crying himself, so he stared at the ceiling blankly, and distanced himself from the memory. “It was like, I was already dead to her.”

“That’s fucking messed up.” Sanji couldn’t even imagine what something like that felt like. Just imagining the scene Zoro described made Sanji almost want to cry. “I really just don’t get it. How can people do that? What do they say to themselves, to justify trying to kill you?!” Zoro still stared at the white roof.

“Leviticus 18:22: ‘You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination’.” Zoro’s face was entirely blank and his eyes were shallow. “Also, Leviticus 20:13: ‘If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.’ It’s hard to forget. That’s what my dad was screaming at me when he attacked me.” Holy fucking hell. Sanji had no words to describe any of this. He was fucking pissed! No person on the entire planet should have to go through something like this. Especially from their own family!

“When I began to think that I was gay I had nightmares-” Zoro’s emotionless face still stared at the ceiling, and hid the pain that was inside his soul. “I had nightmares of my dad finding out that I was gay… and killing me in my sleep.” It took all of Zoro’s effort just to stop himself from crying. His life was fucked up. “Actually, I’m pretty tired. So, if you want to go out and get things on your own, I will just sleep here.” Sanji stood without a word and walked slowly over to Zoro. He still couldn’t look at Sanji’s face, but when he realised that Sanji did not stop walking towards him he turned to look, “Hey, what are you--?”

Sanji closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around Zoro’s shoulders and under his back gently. He nuzzled his chin into Zoro’s neck and hugged him firmly. Zoro was trembling uncontrollably. The green-haired man could tell from the quiet sniffling in his ear, and the moisture on his shoulder that Sanji was crying. Zoro had never made anyone cry just by telling them about himself.

Sanji did not let go, and Zoro didn’t want him to. The younger man couldn’t even remember the last time he felt this safe. He didn’t want this to ever end. Tears welled up in Zoro’s eyes and streamed down his cheeks. He snivelled ungracefully, but Sanji simply held him tighter, and pressed his chest down on top of Zoro gently. Finally, Zoro uncovered his arms from under the fleece blanket and embraced Sanji, he dug his face into Sanji’s collar and gripped handfuls of his bloody suit jacket tightly.

“Shhhh. You’re safe now.” Sanji whispered faintly in Zoro’s ear. “You’re safe, it’s okay. I won’t let anyone hurt you again.” Zoro’s tears continued to flow onto Sanji’s nice suit. But he didn’t care. Zoro’s mind was at ease for the first time in years and the pain in his chest quieted to a mild throbbing. He felt safe, and cared for. Years ago, he came to believe that, he would never be able to feel safe or comfortable for who he was. But he was proved wrong – by a stranger on a bridge. And as Zoro drifted off to the most peaceful sleep he had had in years he was only accompanied by the smell of cigarettes and the thought of Sanji.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have decided that I will continue this fic!   
> Thank you to everyone who liked it and said lovely things in the comments! I really appreciate all the support you gave this work.   
> And if you stick around for the next chapter, you'll get to see the two cuties get together! Isn’t that what we’re all waiting for? ;)


	3. Is Love Just a Feeling?

“No please! I didn’t mean to do it!” The small green haired child screeched as he was dragged mercilessly down the stairs by his bound arms. “Let me go! It hurts!”

Tears flowed down his flushed cheeks and soaked into the hard wood beneath, leaving no trace. The more he struggled to free his hands from the coarse rope, the deeper it cut into the skin of his bony wrists. As his body hit each sinking step, his heart began to beat faster; pounding in his frail chest. He felt the entire world crushing down on him, and there was nowhere to run.

“How could you! You, the child that was born to me, break the commandments often! Does the fifth commandment not say ‘Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you’?! And yet you do not do the tasks that I ask of you. You do not respect me as your father, the very man that raised you!”

The child gritted his teeth to the pain and quelled his tears. He had broken one of the ten holy laws; his pain was his own fault. Begging would achieve nothing. The boy closed his eyes and accepted his punishment.

The stairs ended and he was dragged across a hard, concrete floor; lifted by his lashed wrists and thrown awkwardly into a small, steel cabinet at the back of the basement. He watched the light fade as the door was shut on him and heard the distinctive clicks of the bolts locking into place.

“You can come out when you are ready to confess your sins and repent.” Nine footsteps to the door, then total darkness, and total silence.

He had been here enough times to know that there was no escape. Screaming didn’t help; struggling didn’t help; he didn’t even try anymore. So, the small boy gathered up all his shame and hate and fear and swallowed his pride. But… it… just… wouldn’t… go down!

His dignity and self-respect got stuck in his throat and ripped its way up to the surface. His chest burned. It felt like he had been set on fire from the inside out. Only 6 years old, the boy suffocated on the stale air of the death-chamber as he clawed desperately at the cold metal.

The screeching sounds of his fingernails sent chills down his spine as his breathing became erratic. His head pounded and he felt like he would throw up. His trembling body only got worse as time progressed. Each second felt like an hour as his legs lost all feeling and hot blood dripped down from the rope tied around his wrists. He swore that every second the walls were getting closer and closer together and physically pushing the air from his lungs.

His screams sounded more like gargled whimpers as they left his mouth and reverberated around in the still, metallic air. He fought for dear life against the unwavering force of the metal box. He had to get out. He had to breathe.

“Wake up!” A strange voice called out of the darkness and suddenly Zoro was shaken by the lapels and sat up breathless on a small, brown leather couch. He was not a boy, he was a man, and he was not locked in a windowless metal death trap. Zoro wiped the sweat that trickled down his brow, but soon realised that he was soaked in it; his bandaged chest and his clothes dripped with perspiration. “You were rolling around and screaming. Are you okay?”

Zoro looked into the exposed eye of the blond man, he was apprehensive. His eye showed all the emotion of a thousand words, it was an unstoppable ocean current drawing Zoro in. He would soon be dragged under the waves and swept along the bottom of the sea forever. The blond man pressed a hand to Zoro’s forehead and lowered his brow in concern.

“You’re burning up... Oh shit… Your wound might be infected!” Sanji frantically grabbed at the bandage wrapped tightly around Zoro and unwrapped it quickly, tearing off the sweat-soaked gauze with ease. “If there’s even the slightest sign that it might get infected, I’m taking you straight to the hospital!”

Zoro watched the man inspect his swollen wound, he was wearing his blue, silk, button-up pyjamas. They looked oddly comfortable, yet sleek and neat. Even when the man was sleeping he was well-dressed, Zoro mused. But as he looked around more, something didn’t appear to be right. It was still dark outside. It must have been night. Did Zoro wake up Sanji with his screaming from 2 floors below? Was he that loud?

“Did I…” Zoro began nervously; his voice was hoarse. “Wake you?” Sanji looked up at him with wide eyes, but he didn’t seem annoyed or tired at all.

“No, I was already awake. I was waiting for my alarm to go off, but you beat it to the punch.” He laughed briefly. “I didn’t know I could use you as an alarm clock.” Zoro smiled politely at Sanji’s joke, but it was clear that he felt bad.

“You heard me, all the way from the third floor?” Zoro wrung his hands while Sanji placed a new gauze over Zoro’s wound.

“No, stupid. I was sleeping right over there.” Sanji pointed behind the couch to the mattress and some blankets sprawled out on the wooden floor. “After you fell asleep I went out and got some things. I sort of had to guess your size so the clothes might be a little wrong. But when I got back you were still sleeping so I just left you there. I made dinner, but I didn’t really want to wake you, so I just let you sleep right through it. That reminds me, you must be starving.”

“Why didn’t you just sleep in your bed?”

“Just in case you had some sort of reaction to your injury or the blood loss or something.” Sanji taped the bandage down and went towards the kitchen to make breakfast. “Oh yeah, there are some clothes on the table there!” Sanji called from the kitchen. “They’re for you. Put them on. If they don’t fit leave the tags on and I’ll take them back.” Zoro looked to the cleanly folded pile of clothes on the coffee table in front of him. They were bran new with the tags still on, and not just any tags, expensive brand name labels.

There was a thick, green, button-up woollen coat that ended just below the hips with a pair of nice black trousers, a plain white t-shirt, shiny black lace up boots with matching socks and a pair of plain black underwear. But even the underwear was expensive! Zoro looked at all the price tags and trembled. Then he read them out loud to himself. “Versace socks: **$53** , Calvin Klein Underwear: **$55** , Raf Simons T-Shirt: **$69** , Dolce and Gabbana Trousers: **$537** , Raf Simons Jacket: **$758** , Gucci boots: **$960**!” Zoro couldn’t believe it. There was no way in hell he was ever going to save up the money to pay Sanji back for this! The total came to _two thousand four hundred and thirty-two dollars_!  Working a casual part time job, it would take him almost a year to pay this back!

Just then Sanji came out with deliciously smelling waffles and handed a plate to Zoro. “I cannot accept this.” Zoro motioned to the pile of clothes that he barely touched. Sanji looked quizzically at him.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you like them? I got the jacket to match your hair. It’ll make you look super rough too.”

“Take them back.”

“But, why? Did you try them on?”

“I can’t afford it. It’ll take me nearly a year to pay you back for these clothes! And I don’t even have a job yet.” Zoro massaged his head with his fingers. 

“Don’t worry about it. Consider it a present.” Sanji waved him off and began eating his waffles.

“No way! I agreed to pay you back for everything you’ve done for me and I’m going to do it. I’ve already figured that rent will cost the price of this place divided by 1000 per week. That’s generally how rent works.”

“Oh yeah?” Sanji challenged crossing his arms and smirking.

“Yeah.” Zoro frowned determinedly.

“Then you’ll be paying $1255 a week. And that white t-shirt you ruined cost $67 plus the two suits of mine that you ruined with your blood that cost about four thousand dollars each. So, you’re looking at…. $8067, plus $1255, divided by seven days in a week, multiplied by 2 days you’ve been here… Eight thousand four hundred, twenty-five dollars and fifty-five cents.”

Sanji leered. But Zoro’s heart sank… Sanji hadn’t even calculated the cost of the food or the blankets that he had bought… there was no way Zoro was going to be able to pay Sanji back. Ever. He sank to his knees and put his face in his hands.

“There’s no way I can ever pay you back!” Zoro moaned.

“Then don’t.”

“But, I promised--”

“I don’t remember you saying that.” Sanji interrupted.

“But you said--”

“Well I’ve changed my mind. You’re cool. You don’t have to pay me back. It’s not like I need the money. You know what?...” Sanji went over to the small stool next to the front door and pulled out a silver key. He held it out to Zoro. “Here.”

“What is it?”

“The key to my house.”

“What!? There’s no way I’m taking that! We only just met! You don’t trust me.”

Sanji was shocked. “Who says I don’t trust you?”

“You haven’t left me alone for a second since I’ve been here.” It was true. But Sanji knew that it wasn’t because he didn’t trust him… it was because … he liked him.

“We have to go to work today. So, in case you have to leave early, take this key and come back here.” Sanji put the key down on the table. “And hurry up and get dressed, there’s no time to get you different clothes.”

Sanji left to clean up the dishes while Zoro got dressed. The clothes fit him perfectly, it was almost like they were tailor-made to him specifically. And they were surprisingly comfortable, Zoro could move so freely and be kept so warm. He was still angry that Sanji had spent so much money, but damn. Every second he spent wearing his new coat was like getting a warm hug. Zoro didn’t particularly like hugs, but this was one that he could appreciate.

“Time to go.” Sanji came out looking as schmick as ever, in his nice fitting tailor-made suit. They headed out the door and began walking down the street towards the restaurant. Zoro had never felt so worried about his clothes getting ruined in his entire life.

“Are all your suits worth 4 grand?”

“Yeah most of them.” Zoro gulped. Sanji looked amazing, but there was no way he was going anywhere near him wearing a four-thousand-dollar suit. Even now Zoro regretted putting on the clothes he was wearing. If he slipped and fell, he would ruin them, and throw over a thousand dollars down the drain. “You look nice by the way. Like a punk, I wouldn’t want to mess with in a fight.” Zoro’s heart nearly stopped. That was it, that was all he needed to stop worrying about his expensive clothes and smile. Sanji said he looked nice. He swooned like a fangirl on the inside and blushed a little.

The sun was just coming up as they trekked through the almost abandoned city, but already Zoro knew. “It’s going to rain later.”

“What, the forecast said it was sunshine-”

“I can feel it.” Zoro looked up at the sky forlornly as Sanji watched the expression on his face with saddened curiosity. Sanji pulled out his phone and pressed a button. There was silence for a while before he spoke.

“Hey, old man. It’s going to rain later. You better put some extras on standby.” Sanji spoke into his phone. “Yeah I know. But I have it on good authority.” He looked over at Zoro, smiled and hung up the phone. “When it rains, we always have more customers for some reason, which means we need to have staff on standby to cater for the increase in patrons. Whenever we’re behind in staff we get complaints about our service being slow, which impacts badly on us. So, thanks for the heads up.” Sanji smiled honestly at Zoro.

“But why did you listen to me?”

“Cause’ you can’t lie to me remember, and you look like you know your stuff, staring so sadly up at the sky like that.”

“I wasn’t sad!” Zoro defended, crossing his arms and pouting childishly.

“Yeah, well you could’ve fooled me.” Sanji smirked tapping him on the head jokingly. They both smiled. Zoro had fallen for the stranger that had saved his life, and Sanji had fallen for the mysterious man that lost everything. But both of them were ignorant to the other man’s feelings, as always.

“You talk in your sleep, you know?” Sanji stated after a while of content silence.

“Yeah? And what do I say?”

“No please.” Sanji stated blankly without looking at Zoro. “I didn’t mean to do it. Let me go. It hurts. It’s so dark. Please help me. Let me out. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. Forgive me. Please, I can’t breathe.” Zoro stopped walking, gritted his teeth and frowned.

“So, you heard that, huh?” He sighed, there was no point lying about it, and avoiding the subject would only prolong the inevitable conversation. 

“You didn’t do it the first night. Just last night. What does it mean?”

“Nothing. I had a bad dream.” Zoro shrugged it off and began walking in the direction they were heading.

“You were screaming and thrashing around. You woke up in a bed of your own sweat. That’s a little more than just a ‘bad dream’ don’t you think?”

“Sanji! You’re late!” Came a gruff old voice from nowhere. “Who’s that? Is that our new dish-boy? Tell him to hurry up and clean the floors! And GET ON TO THE BREAD YOU DUMB EGGPLANT!” Sanji gave Zoro an apologetic look as they walked through the stained glass double doors of the Baratie.

“Hey, I said I could get you a job, not that it would be fun.” Sanji walked to a closet at the back of the kitchen and pulled out a broom. “Here. Start sweeping the floors. You’ll do this before we open and after we close. But when there are customers here your job is to wash the dishes.”

Zoro took the broom and spun it around in his hand effortlessly. It was lighter than a sword. Sanji’s heart fluttered. He was so cool. “Where did you learn that?”

“Kendo- sword fighting.”

“Ohhhh” Sanji only just realised. “That explains the katana.”

“GET IN HERE EGGPLANT! I WONT ASK AGAIN!” Sanji rolled his eyes and walked into the kitchen to do his job.

This was the first time Zoro had been alone in almost 2 days. He didn’t like it. Every breath sent a stabbing pain through his chest, he hadn’t noticed it so much before. It was like every second he was with Sanji he was distracted from the pain.

Zoro ran the green nylon fibres of the broom along the floor until he had created a pile of dust and dirt in the middle of the room. He grabbed a small dustpan and brush and quickly swept it up.

“Alright! Zoro is it?” Zeff limped loudly out of the kitchen and stomped over to him. he was a large blond man, they had the same golden hair and blue eyes. But he had a much larger frame, and his eyebrows looked completely normal. Zoro guessed that Sanji got them from his mother.

“Yes, sir.” Zoro stood up straight and adjusted his clothes.

“No. I’m going to call you broccoli. From now on, you only answer to Broccoli.” Zoro glanced to Sanji who was standing behind Zeff.

“Just go with it, he’s never going to let it go.”

“O- Okay. What do you want me to do?”

“Well, go into the kitchen and wash the dishes of course! That’s what you’re here for!” He shouted at the kid shooing him through the swinging doors into the kitchen.

“You don’t have to be so mean to him. He’s new.”

“He’ll never learn anything if I’m not forceful. And if he’s going to be my future son-in-law then, by damn I’m going to make him a good one!” Sanji choked on a stomach full of smoke and a lung full of water, and began coughing up so badly he dropped his cancer stick and had to pound on his own chest to stop himself. His eyes were blurry with salt water and he blew his nose into a handkerchief.

“YOU STUPID OLD MAN! Who said anything about a son-in-law?” Sanji defended with a raspy voice.

“Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t like him then?”

“I never said that.”

“Tell me boy!” The old geezer swung his prosthetic leg up and clocked Sanji in the head.

“Ow! Stop it! Okay, okay… I like him, but we just met. So give it some time.” He sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

“Well, I’m mad enough that I’m never gonna get any grandchildren, so I’m going to make damn sure that my new son is the right one.” Zeff stomped off in the kitchen after Zoro.

“Leave him alone, you’ll scare him to death!” Sanji pleaded, pulling back on the old man’s braided mustache. But it had no effect. He continued to stomp into the kitchen, with Sanji close at his heels. If Sanji wanted to keep Zoro around, he had to protect him from Zeff’s stupid protectiveness.

“So, broccoli…” Here we go. This is where Sanji will die. On his tombstone, will be written: _Died from sheer embarrassment. Thanks a lot you stupid old man!_   “Eggplant told me you were the one who said it was going to rain.”

“Yeah.” Zoro furiously washed dishes as waiters dressed in nice suits bustled in and out of the kitchen and chefs screamed orders and leant over burning pots and pans. It was now lunch time, and just like Zoro had said, it was raining. Sanji had to call in the back up at about 10am and they’d been cooking non-stop since. Which means Zoro had been washing Dishes non-stop too. Every time he finished a stack, a new one would appear. His hands were red and raw from the hot water and the scrubbing brush.

“I guess we owe you one for today then.” Zoro looked out the tiny round windows through the door of the kitchen and into the dining hall. There were heaps of people sitting at table and eating and talking, the waiters put on fake smiles and greeted them kindly, trying to hide the sheer chaos that was afoot behind the soundproof kitchen doors. “But don’t get distracted!” Zeff shouted as he threw a dirty saucepan at Zoro’s head. He ducked just in time for it to fly over his head but the saucepan splashed into the sink and soaked him.

“What the hell was that, old man?!” Zoro’s face and hair was covered with hot soapy water.

“Ha-ha ha ha!” Sanji laughed clutching his stomach and pointing at Zoro. “Your hair really does look like moss now!” it had changed a darker shade of green from the water and there were little clear bubbles all through it.

“Shut up!” Zoro cried quickly and turned back to the sink. But when he was facing the wall he smiled, this was the most fun he’d had in a long time. Even thought it was work, Zoro felt like just being around all these people was enough to make him feel loved.

“Eggplant, Broccoli, you’re on break go have lunch!” Zeff boomed over the entire kitchen. “Patty and Carne just got back from their break so they’ll fill in for you.”

“Finally,” Zoro whispered to himself, his hands and arms ached from all the scrubbing.

“Come on. We’ll get a table and eat here.” Sanji grabbed Zoro by the wrist and dragged him through the swinging doors. Zoro was smiling, there were so many people. No wonder why Sanji had all that money, he must be a millionaire.

But within an instant, Zoro’s smile was wiped from his face. He body seized up and he couldn’t breathe. Sitting at a table in one of the corners of the room was a tall, thin, darkly-dressed man with glasses and a blond woman. They were Zoro’s parents.

“What’s the matte--” Zoro sprung onto Sanji and wrapped a hand over his mouth before quickly dragging him into the kitchen. Zoro let Sanji go and fell to his knees. His chest continued to tighten, he couldn’t breathe. Sprawled out on the floor Zoro was hyperventilating. “What’s wrong, are you okay?” Sanji knelt beside him and put a reassuring hand on Zoro’s back, but it only made things worse.

“Don’t touch me!” Zoro heaved out between gasps. “Leave me alone!” He threw Sanji’s arm away and stood shakily, running out the back door of the kitchen and into the closed-off alleyway. There was nowhere to escape. The rain poured down in buckets. Zoro was soaked as soon as he stepped foot outside. The rain was crushing him. As it pelted down, it felt like Zoro was being crushed by the weight of the water, it was like a tsunami was dragging him along the ground through the rubble and destruction and taunting him.

“Zoro!” Sanji followed him out in the cold torrential rain.

“Those were….” He wheezed. “…my parents.” Sanji froze in place. They were assholes who deserved to be beaten to a pulp. There was only one thing to do.

“Which ones?” The blond growled, rolling up his sleeves and taking off his tie.

“You can’t fight them.” Zoro grabbed Sanji by the wrist and pulled him to face each other. Zoro was kneeling, looking up at Sanji and begging him. “Please, just let them leave. Don’t do anything. Just forget it.”

“How can you forget what they did to you?!” Sanji pulled his hand away and stomped back into the kitchen. He was soaking wet and left patches of water on the floor.

“No wait!” Zoro pulled back on Sanji’s clothes stopping him from moving. The entire kitchen was silently listening to what was happening, but none dared to interrupt them. Sanji was furious, and everybody knew what happened when Sanji was mad. Everyone except Zoro.

“You’re not going to change my mind. So you can either tell me which ones they are, or I can scream at the whole restaurant. But I’d rather not tarnish the Baratie’s good name.”

“They’re sitting in the far-right corner. A blond woman and a thin man wearing glasses.” Zoro let go of Sanji’s clothing. He was too afraid to face them himself, but he knew from Sanji’s steaming face that there was no stopping him. “Sanji.” Zoro sighed, he couldn’t even stand to look him in the eyes anymore. “Tell him… Timothy 5:8.” "What's that?" "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives and especially their own household has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever...But if you tell him that, he'll get mad." Sanji nodded determinedly. He walked over to the circular windows on the kitchen doors and spied on the couple in the restaurant. The man was tall and thin, but he looked energetic somehow, he was wearing a strange black suit with a white colla—

Holy shit. Zoro’s father wasn’t just a religious man, he was a priest!

Zoro walked into the alleyway again and sank against the wet brick wall in the freezing rain, covering his head with his hands. His entire world seemed to be crashing down around him. every breath felt like he was dying. Zoro knew that his father was never going to give up. He had broken the 5th commandment, and many others throughout his life; he was a traitor. His father would not rest until he had been punished properly for his betrayal.

“WHERE IS HE?” Zoro heard a deep, course voice emanate from the behind the kitchen doors. There was no way! Zoro’s heart almost stopped beating. How did he get in there? He sank lower and brought his knees up to his chest. He was shaking uncontrollably in the pouring rain.

“Stop it! Don’t go out there!” Zoro heard Sanji’s distinct voice call, and some sort of scuffle from behind the heavy doors. He was coming. This was Zoro’s worst nightmare.

“RORONOA ZORO!” The tall malicious man barged through the wooden double doors and into the enclose alleyway. There was really no escape this time. Zoro didn’t dare to move, he trembled uncontrollably and hugged his knees to his chest tightly. He sank further and further into his own mind, slipping from reality as much as he could. But it wasn’t enough. “HOW DARE YOU! THE ABOMINATION DARES TO ACCUSE ME OF DENYING THE FAITH!?” The father took two long strides and dragged Zoro from the ground by his short green hair. He whimpered childishly and flailed futilely.

“Let him go!” The blond rushed out the door behind them and tried to shove the clergyman to let Zoro go. But he simply swatted Sanji’s hands away and thrusted him to the ground. Sanji landed on his butt on the soaking concrete. “Get off him, you asshole! He never did anything to you!”

“Never did anything?!” The man let go of Zoro, dropping him to the ground, and turned Sanji. “This abomination has betrayed all the laws of human nature, and the 10 holy commandments! HIS BLOOD IS UPON HIM!” Zoro cowered on the ground. He began to regress to the six-year-old child trapped in an airless metal box. He couldn’t breathe. Sanji gritted his teeth, there was no way in hell he was going to let anything happen to Zoro.

“HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!?” He continued to shout at Zoro, but then lowered his voice and spoke in almost a sympathetic whisper. “Zoro, you have denied the faith and you have denied the Lord Himself. Thus, He has shown you the futility of your sins.  He has made you into an abomination because of your actions. Come back to me, my child. I will absolve you of your sins and you will follow the faith again. I will teach you the ways of the Lord and you will overcome your sinful desires. Please, my child. All is forgiven under the eyes of God.” Zoro looked up at the minister, his face was soaking from the rain, but Sanji could tell that he was crying. He didn’t seem afraid anymore. His eyes looked almost, happy. Why was he happy? He was going to go back to his father! The same man that beat and tortured him! Sanji would _never_ let that happen.

“SHUT UP!” Sanji stood and balled his fists beside him. “There is nothing wrong with him! And you can never change him, because he was born like this! So, leave right now, or I will be forced to kick you out of this restaurant!”

“Come Zoro, we will go.” The thin man with glasses reached down and held his hand out for Zoro to accompany him, but Zoro didn’t move.

“He’s right.” Zoro whispered. “You can’t change me. I’ve been this way my whole life.”

“WHAT?! YOU DARE BETRAY ME AGAIN AFTER I HAVE FORGIVEN YOU?! YOU HAVE CHOSEN THIS! YOU CHOOSE TO BE AN ABOMINATION AND YOU SHALL SURELY BE PUT TO DEATH!” He grabbed Zoro by his shirt and lifted him up again. For a priest, he was shockingly violent.

“NO STOP!” The reverend clenched his fist and hit Zoro hard across the face, throwing him backwards. He was launched through the air and hit his back hard against the brick wall of the alley.  He fell to the ground, hitting his head hard on the concrete. He didn’t move. “ZORO!!!” Sanji screeched. He ran over and threw himself over Zoro, protecting him from a kick that the cleric now delivered harshly to Sanji’s ribcage. Zoro moaned. He was alive!

“Stay out of this, child. I merely want to free the world of this abomination.” He towered over the both of them, the relentless rain smothered them like a haze of thick smoke.

“IF YOU WANT TO FREE THE WORLD OF AN ABOMINATION, TAKE ME INSTEAD!” Sanji stood and held out his arms, making himself the target and protecting Zoro behind him. “Your son isn’t even the worst homo here.” Sanji laughed challengingly. “I am! I’ve slept with tons of guys. And you know what?... I liked it!”

“YOU DISGUST ME!” The paster lifted his arm to strike Sanji but he dodged easily.

“ZORO RUN!!” Sanji screamed as he continued to dodge the clergyman’s attacks.

“Arghhhh-” Zoro groaned from the ground behind him. He didn’t sound good. It sounded like he was dying. Sanji turned to look at Zoro moaning on the ground but the minister struck him hard in the abdomen, throwing him up against the wall. Sanji spat blood out of his mouth, but wiped it away to help Zoro.

“Zoro come on. You have to get out of here.” Sanji tried helping him up and half lifted him off the ground before he got too heavy and fell back down. His head was bleeding, he really didn’t look healthy. “Zoro please. Get out of here! I’ll distract him.”

“How dare you seduce my son with your sinful desires! I could have saved him from the wicked path he has chosen, but you have tainted his blood! YOU HAVE DRAGGED MY SON FURTHER INTO THE PATH OF TEMPTATION! AND NOW YOU MUST DIE FOR IT!” The reverend swung his arms frantically at Sanji who had trouble both dodging and protecting Zoro. The blond took a few hits to prevent the minister from harming the bleeding man.

“Zoro I’ll handle this. Please just get up. Please run. I’ll meet you at my house.” Sanji whispered frantically. Finally, Zoro built up the strength to stand. He stood and fled past the padre in an instant, the priest didn’t even have time to grab Zoro. In what felt like a split second Zoro’s legs took him through the heavy wooden doors, into the kitchen and out the front of the restaurant. People looked at him but didn’t have enough time to care, because he out the front doors in a flash.

Zoro just ran. He kept running. He ran until his lungs nearly gave out. he didn’t particularly know where he was running to, but wherever it was, he was going to get there fast. Eventually he stopped and looked up at the blackened clouds and the pouring rain. Tears ran down his cheeks. He was standing outside Sanji’s house; he didn’t even know the way, but his legs took him there by instinct.

“WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE!?” The giant man slammed his fists into the heavy door and hobbled out into the tiny courtyard. Sanji was laying on his side on the ground. The mysterious priest was reading him something from a small bible. “Hey! What are you doing?”

“I’m reading him his last rites.”

“DON’T YOU DARE!” Without hesitating Zeff slammed his wooden leg into the clergyman and sent him flying backwards into the wall. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SON?!” The old man fell to his knees by Sanji’s side. He was beaten up bad. His face looked bruised and swollen and he looked like he had several broken ribs.

“Your son is the one that damned my son to eternity in hell. He is an abomination, and cannot be saved.” The thin pastor stood and smoothed his soaking black robe.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY EGGPLANT!?” Zeff was fuming. “GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE!!” The reverend vanished through the kitchen doors. “Stupid idiot! What the hell was that?!” Zeff helped Sanji up and into the kitchen. He handed him a towel and let him lean on the table to rest.

“That was the moss brain’s father.” Sanji pulled his pack of cancer’s out of his pocket, but it was useless they were all soaking wet. “He’s a homophobic asshole that tried to kill him a couple days ago. That’s why I’ve been looking after him. I had no idea he was a fucking priest though! Jesus Christ, he just tried to kill me too! Fuck. I need to find Zoro!” Sanji dropped the towel and raced out of the kitchen as fast as he could.

Zeff called after him. “WAIT YOU’RE H--” But Sanji was out the door before he could hear the end. He ran. He ran until his lungs burned as he took every step. But he kept running, because Zoro needed him. They could both be fired for what they just did, but Sanji didn’t care. Right now, the only thing Sanji could think about was Zoro.

He ran all the way back to his mansion and rushed through the doors. But the thing was, he expected to see Zoro. He expected to waltz in and find Zoro sleeping on the couch like an idiot, and Sanji’s heart would slow down and a great weight would be lifted from his heart. But Zoro wasn’t there. When Sanji walked in, he noticed the distinct sopping puddles of footprints leading from the door to the coffee table.

There were piles of scrunched up pieces of paper littered on wooden table and one unfolded sheet, positioned neatly amongst the chaos. It was a written note, addressed to Sanji. Sanji’s heart began to beat faster. He sat on the couch and held the spare silver key that Zoro used to unlock the door. Zoro had given it back to him. Sanji picked up the damp note and read the horridly scribbled writing:

_Dear Sanji,_

_You are the kindest and most honest person I have ever met. You have done so much to help me, even though I was a complete stranger. I will never be able to forget, nor repay, your kindness. But unfortunately, I can simply not go on any longer. It has nothing to do with you._

_Please believe me._

_If you are anything like me (which I know that you are) you might blame yourself for this. But the sole reason for me writing this note is to tell you that it is not your fault. You did everything you could for me, but it is my choice to die today._

_It is my **choice**._

_I enjoyed your company. Thanks._

_Goodbye._

_Zoro._

Sanji read and re-read the note about 3 times, but every time the information just wouldn’t sink in. He couldn’t believe it. This could not be happening. Sanji frantically unscrunched a few of the other screwed up pieces of paper and read them to himself. They all began with Dear Sanji:

 ‘ _Please don’t be mad. This was never about you.’_ Read the first which was scribbled out and discarded with the rest.

 _‘We met in the wrong place and the wrong time. Perhaps in another life…’_ was screwed up before the sentenced was even finished.

_‘We were not there for the beginning. We will not be there for the end. Our knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative, therefore it makes no difference if I die…’_

_‘If love is a rollercoaster, then I’m afraid of heights.’_

Suddenly Sanji came crashing back down to reality.  What was he doing just sitting here?! He had to find Zoro. He had to find him **now**!

“ZORO!” Sanji called throughout the house as he raced from room to room. He ran up the stairs and searched in ever nook and cranny but found no trace. Sanji didn’t care what he had to do, he was going to save Zoro. He was even ready to stoop to knocking him out and kidnapping him to save his stupid life…. and that’s when he realised… the bridge.

There was no time to think. He raced downstairs and out the front door in an instant. He didn’t even bother to lock it. He _had_ to find Zoro. Running through the pouring rain Sanji felt his heart dying. He could feel all of Zoro’s anger and sadness and pain. And he just wanted to take it all away, no matter the cost.

In the haze of the driving rain, the bridge seemed endless. Sanji kept running on the slippery concrete shouting “ZORO!” over and over at the top of his voice. He peered over the railing at the murky, swollen river 25 stories below. He imagined Zoro falling, and falling, hitting the water and being swept away by the strong current. He would have died instantly. The freezing, muddy water would have swallowed him whole and washed away all traces of him. They would find his body where the river met the sea in a few weeks’ time. No one would have even noticed he was missing. No one except Sanji.

His eyes were swollen from tears and rain. The pain in Sanji’s chest grew more by the second. He felt like he was being stabbed in the heart. But he wasn’t ready to give up. He kept running, shouting and begging for Zoro to be alive. Eventually his eyes made out a silhouette leaning against the railing of the bridge. It was Zoro.

“ZORO!” Sanji called, desperately trying to save the man’s life. The figure turned its head to look but didn’t react. The blond kept running. Sanji watched with hopeless futility as the figure stepped over the cold, metal railing and let go.

In that moment, Sanji’s heart stopped. His brain shut down. He couldn’t hear the rain, and the world around him seemed to slow down. All he could see was the immobile figure slipping further and further away. He could hear his lungs gasp for air and his heart beat right out of his chest.  Sanji ran the fastest that he had ever run in that split second, and almost threw himself off the bridge to reach Zoro. His slippery hands grabbed at Zoro’s wrists and he caught him without a second to spare. Sanji held Zoro’s arms the tightest he had ever held onto anything. 

“Don’t. Don’t save me.” Zoro pleaded to him with warm tears running down his cheeks.  “Let me go. Just let me die.” Zoro had nothing to live for. But Sanji didn’t care. He was furious!

“NO!” Sanji screamed at him, and used all his strength to pull him back from over the railing. Tears continued to flow out of the blonde’s eyes as the rain dripped out of his hair. He was so angry. He was furious that Zoro had not even thought about him. Sanji used all his fury and threw Zoro down onto the concrete against the fence dividing the footpath and the road. Sanji’s tears turned into raging screams as he jumped on top of Zoro and slammed his fists into Zoro’s bandaged chest. Cars raced by, still no one noticed.

“YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT!” Sanji shrieked and snivelled with all his anger and fear. “You don’t have the right to throw your life away, you stupid idiot!” Sanji balled up Zoro’s white shirt in his fists and cried furiously into Zoro’s chest. Sanji was sitting on Zoro’s waist, pinning him to the cold concrete. Zoro said nothing. He lay on the ground letting Sanji pound on his chest painfully with his fists. “You idiot! What made you think you could die, huh!?”

“I deserve to die.” Zoro whispered in despair looking up at the raindrops falling from the sky. Sanji growled infuriated, as his tears dripped onto Zoro’s soaked chest. He was so mad it hurt. he could barely talk through his gritted teeth.

“No, you don’t! You fucking idiot! I hate you!” Sanji wailed at him, shaking Zoro by his shirt. “I hate that you’re so fucking selfish! Don’t you care about anyone but yourself?! Don’t you care about me?! Don’t you care about what I think!?” He sobbed maddeningly. Sanji’s shoulders couldn’t support his weight anymore and he leaned down to hit his forehead against Zoro’s chest, he pounded his fists like a child throwing a tantrum and continued to snivel. Zoro’s face was expressionless. He still stared at the sky, unmoving like he did laying on the couch the day before.

“I’m disgusting.” Zoro began. Tears ran down his face as he said it, but he held most of his feelings behind his blank face. “The thing that I am, it was not meant to be. I’m an abomination.” Sanji’s anger only grew worse.

“FUCK YOU!!! That’s NOT TRUE AND YOU KNOW IT!” He howled defiantly. “And what would that make me, huh? An abomination too? Do you think I deserve to die!?”  Zoro snapped out of his daze and looked Sanji in the eyes.

“No, of course not. I’ve never thought of you like that.” Sanji could hear the despair and hurt in his voice.

“Then…Why do only you have to die!?” Zoro tilted his head and looked at Sanji empathetically.

“Because I was taught from birth to hate the very thing that I am. I hate myself. I hate every thought that rushes through my twisted head! I hate all the feelings that I have for the wrong people! But most of all… I hate that I don’t hate it! It’s an endless paradox! And you know what we’re taught about paradoxes in philosophy? They are unsolvable. It’s pointless to even try.”

“SO, YOU’RE JUST GOING TO GIVE UP!!??” Sanji screamed as the Rain poured down on them and soaked them to the bone. Sanji was trembling. “FUCK YOU! I SAVED YOU! I took you in and helped you and now you’re just going to erase all this time that we spent together?!”

“I’ve only known you for 2 da--”

“I DON’T FUCKING CARE! IF YOU DIE I WILL NEVER RECOVER! Do you understand?! You deserve to live! Look at me!” Sanji shook Zoro by the lapels beneath him until Zoro looked him in the eyes. “There is nothing wrong with you! You’re 20 fucking years old! You are way too young to die.” He wept frustratingly. “Your rollercoaster hasn’t even left the goddamn station yet! Are you going to jump off before you even get on?! If you die now, you’ll never find the one to spend your life with. Don’t you want to feel alive?! Don’t you want to stop being afraid?! Don’t you want to feel a summer breeze in your hair again? Don’t you want to watch the flowers bloom in spring?”

 Sanji gasped in breaths of air through his tears. His hair was dripping wet, and as he shook his head his hair moved from over his eye. Zoro could see both of Sanji’s eyes for the first time. They were magnificent. If the gloomy, grey rain that they were in now was the infinite darkness of the universe then Sanji’s eyes were the stars. They looked like the crystal-clear waters of a beach paradise. Zoro imagined them both, together, swimming in the ocean off the coast and laughing. Zoro wanted that. Zoro wanted a future. He wanted to live, but not just with anyone. Zoro wanted to live with _Sanji_.

“Don’t you want to love someone so much that it hurts?” Sanji whispered after a while of silence. Zoro smiled knowingly.

“I’ve already done that.” Sanji looked at him with sadness, all his anger was spent. He had nothing left but pain. “I’ve already loved someone so much that it hurts, and that’s why I’m here. It hurts too much.” Zoro wiped a tear that ran down Sanji’s cheek. “I’m afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Of being alone.”

“But you’re not alone you have me!”

“I’m afraid that if I mess something up, I’ll lose you too. And I’ll be truly alone.”

“I don’t care if you mess things up! Whatever happens, I’m not letting you jump off this bridge. You’re not the type of person that just gives up! I know that you want to live. That’s why you didn’t jump the first night we met. That’s why you let me help you. You can’t possibly mess things up more than they already are.” Both of them seemed to forget the cold rain that hammered down around them. Zoro stared up at Sanji’s painful expression and remembered something he was taught in his psychology unit: ‘underlying every feeling of anger, is a feeling of hurt. The more pronounced the anger, the greater pain it conceals.’

“I love you.” Zoro whispered staring into the grey-blue of Sanji’s endless eyes. “Every time I look at you I can’t help but feel my heart beat faster and my face grow hotter. But when I’m around you, I can’t help but think about this.” Zoro ran a hand over his chest to mark the scar that now ran across it.  “It makes me feel sick. I will have to live my entire life with this reminder that I’m an abomination and I should be put to death.” Zoro began to sob and placed a hand over his face.

“Shut up.” Sanji whispered as he gently wrapped his hands through Zoro’s hair and cradled his head in his arms. The blond put his nose down to touch Zoro’s and closed his eyes. Zoro took a few deep breaths and just revelled in the feeling of the moment; however fleeting; however painful. “I love you too, idiot.”

“What?” Zoro opened his eyes, he heard his heartbeat faster in his head and all through his body. His stomach made the sinking feeling like he was on a rollercoaster falling at a hundred kilometres an hour.  He felt the rain on his face, and Sanji’s body close to his. “It’s only been 2 da--”

“Love has no timeline, moss-brain.” Sanji whispered back, with a smile in his voice. He laughed quietly to himself and leaned down to press their lips together gently. Sanji’s lips were soft and delicate to Zoro’s course skin; the heat coming from Sanji’s body was enchanting. He was captivated by the blond. He heard Sanji’s breaths mix with the beating of his heart and the pummelling of the rain, creating a beating rhythm that seemed impossible. As they held their eyes closed they saw only darkness. But they felt everything. Sanji ran a hand through Zoro’s hair tentatively and put a warm hand to the cold skin of his neck. Zoro wrapped his strong arms around Sanji’s waist and brought them closer together. The taste of the Bararite’s special of the day was still on his tongue as Zoro kissed him deeply. Zoro felt alive. He felt like he was flying through the air without a single care in the world. He felt the smooth skin of Sanji’s cheek as their noses brushed past each other and he ran his hands through Sanji’s soaking hair. He smelt the cologne that Sanji wore mixing with the smell of fish and smoke and rain. He loved it. This was what Zoro had been waiting for his whole life; the feeling of being so completely safe that fear doesn’t even exist.

“Move in with me.” Sanji whispered in Zoro’s ear as they reluctantly broke the kiss. Neither of them wanted to leave the comfortable warmth of the other.

“Of course.” Sanji laughed cutely and grudgingly stood up. He helped Zoro to stand and they walked slowly and painfully down the footpath in the direction of the blond’s house. Sanji reached an arm around Zoro’s waist as they walked side by side. “You don’t have to help me walk, you know.”

“I’m not. I’m spending time with my boyfriend.” Sanji smirked. Zoro stopped walking and looked into Sanji’s smiling face and then up at the sky. He felt the rain drip onto his face and the cold air send a chill down his spine. No, this was definitely not a dream. Zoro smiled, he was the happiest he had ever been in his life and he wanted to savour this moment forever. Zoro slid his arm around Sanji’s thin waist as they continued to walk across the bridge. Sanji blushed and smiled lightly. They were dating, and it was the best day of their lives. But deep down, they both knew that they had a long way to go, if they wanted to make this work.

**Author's Note:**

> Together at last!   
> Thank you to everyone who supports my work! It really means a lot to me ;)


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